Recent Comments

10/28/20, 10:18 AM
This was a fantastic story. Love the older brother being controlled by the younger. Hope they both end up at the same college.
Oct 2, 2006
10/28/20, 10:11 AM
> I enjoyed the start of the story. I am looking forward to reading additional chapters. > I just re-read it myself a few weeks ago to submit it to a story contest. It holds up well. I still am glad the SERIES doesn't directly sequel it, tho. I like the ending as it reads.
10/28/20, 8:07 AM
So great! I missed this story. I hope we can see more of David in the future :)
10/28/20, 7:50 AM
to put my raving review short: great chapter. Love cops. Love obliviousness. Came multiple times while reading. Hope Matt gets fucked good soon. Hope his boys will be in on it,too
10/28/20, 7:45 AM
wow it's worth the wait, i like your story so far. but i hope the MC makes the police captain to be more feminine and girly towards the MC. anyway good job man, you are good writer.
Anonymous
10/28/20, 5:39 AM
Wow, this was really great. Can't wait for chapter 2!
10/28/20, 5:29 AM
If I understood Hypnothrill correctly, he wasn't so much complaining about the length of what I wrote overall so much as he thinks it should have been written as two or more chapters, just to keep the chapter size more manageable. If this hadn't been so neatly divided into 4 chapters (Dad, Sean, Ethan, and Dad again to finish), I might've considered it. By way of comparison, I have an upcoming "chapter" for Web of Trust that's going to be about the same length, but because it's part of an ongoing series and has nice places to split, I'll actually be releasing it as three chapters once it's complete.
Anonymous
10/28/20, 5:24 AM
I really enjoyed this. I like different kinds of stories but it just is such a treat to get stories like this that have such a well-written slow build. I've been waiting for this ever since it was mentioned on the forum and it did not disappoint.
Oct 2, 2006
10/28/20, 5:07 AM
I enjoyed the start of the story. I am looking forward to reading additional chapters.
10/28/20, 4:55 AM
@hypnothrill I did not finish it in one sitting either but I still kept coming back to read it all because it was so good. Long writing can be tedious I understand: if the writing is bad. But the writing and the hypnosis/mind control procedure was so detailed and well crafted (not just put you under and take your clothes off lazy writing) that it felt good to be patient in completing it. Idk I guess I prefer something well thought out but very long and slow over multiple pumped out stories that takes one sitting to read and can be pumped out simultaneously by the author but is basic as hell and sometimes leave you dissatisfied. Sometimes quantity just works, especially when the author composes it well and knows how to take their time with it. Might not be your cup of tea but I do implore you to read the whole story.