Recent Comments

Anonymous
10/21/20, 10:34 AM
Omg this story is so hot. Would be amazing to follow Luke, for a whole day. His “sickness” getting worse. Him being around his brother, Manny, the coach, other boys on his team....
10/21/20, 9:57 AM
welcome back
10/21/20, 9:34 AM
This is very hot. What happened to the other fighters?
Evan
10/21/20, 7:47 AM
Very imaginative use of the book. Thanks for writing. Hope to see more experimentation.
hypnosub
10/21/20, 4:54 AM
everyone in the comments has said it already, but wow this story is truly phenomenal! i've read pretty much all of your dumbing down stories and this one takes the cake - which is an impressive feat given the stuff you've written. this is such a clever way to use the dumbing down kink and to reimagine it in a way that's fun to read but also interesting to analyze (unlike kyle, who probably can't analyze anything now lol). this is seriously an amazing story and if there was a gay erotica award you would deserve it!
10/21/20, 4:09 AM
this chapter was so good. i really enjoy mr brady enjoying a golden shower.
10/21/20, 3:55 AM
Wow, what a long chapter. :) Now, don't get me wrong, this is great, its just that due to its length I am going to need a few days to actually take it all in. So expect a longer comment later on. That said, the idea of Dennis in the game is awesome. I love how he is blatent and yet not, in such a way that Jese thinks nothing of it. I also like the clothing, especially the fact that Dennis can see Jese's ass, that's a nice touch. Hope lots of moments occur that lead to groping and fingering and maybe butt near face, with Jese coming to like it from Dennis more and more. While the other NPCs were cool, and I like how Jese wants to save the two, I like Dennis in it more. That's all I have so far, will need to read more. Awesome so far. :)
10/21/20, 3:42 AM
Wow, man, what a phenomenal chapter! And so long too, I absolutely loved it! It was so hot! I really enjoyed Dennis playing alongside Jese, I think I like this better than him as the master of the game, cause this way he can actually be there seeing Jese go through all this sexy gay stuff and act like an impartial third party when he's actually the one doing everything! This is super hot! I also loved how you made Jese's new armor super slutty, with only a jockstrap as pants! This is so fucking hot, shit! I can't wait to see Jese in this new armor, exposing his ass all the time. I would love if Jese keeps getting into embarrasing situations when he is with that armour, always exposing his ass and tight hole to Dennis, on accident or by being oblivious to it, to then just realize what he had been doing and get super embarrassed by it, thinking that Dennis was seeing his hole! This would be supremely hot. Like an ecchi manga, with lots of fanservice for Dennis and us :) and it would be incredible if Dennis could somehow manipulate the game to make this slutty armour Jese's permanent outfit, like with a curse or something, and he can't change it until he finishes a quest or whatever. That would be so hot! I really loved the scene where Jese had to sit on Dennis lap so they could fly to retrieve the mounts. I love those kinds of scenes with lots of sexual tension and innuendo so please keep it up! I also think it would be awesome if Jese and Dennis somehow had to fuck inside the game in order to complete a mission or quest, thus giving Jese a perfectly good excuse to get fucked by Dennis without coming out or something like that. Anyway man, I absolutey loved this chapter and I can't wait to read more, good job! Hope you liked the suggestions and that a new chapter comes up soon! Cheers, well done!
revenge
10/21/20, 3:28 AM
missed your stories, man. cant wait to read this chapter
Jason
10/21/20, 3:22 AM
I can't wait to read the continued progress of your story.