Recent Comments

10/20/20, 7:57 AM
This story has so many elements that I really love, including underwear fetish and serial recruitment. But I feel like it's missing one very important ingredient that would make it sizzling hot: conflict, No one's offering any resistance to the Revive shorts, no one seems reluctant to try them on, and no one seems remotely distressed that they've suddenly turned gay. Heck, there's not even any conflict between the various Revive-controlled teams in the tournament, as the protagonists get picked in advance to win. If you write a third chapter to this--and I hope you do--I'd love to see you introduce a character, maybe a coach or father, who gets suspicious of Revive and actually puts up a fight.
10/20/20, 7:57 AM
More please. Go further, either feminize him or go for age regression
10/20/20, 7:26 AM
I personally don't feel like detailed physical descriptions of the characters are so essential. It will sometimes stop a story's momentum in its tracks if you provide elaborate descriptions for four characters at once. But I would agree that you need to do a little more to distinguish these guys from each other, giving them more distinct personalities and voices. I thought the overall changes were hot, but I really couldn't keep the main characters straight.
10/20/20, 6:33 AM
great new chapter. glad to hear more will be coming soon. I like what you did to Bob. he needs to be hungry for his son's cock so that they can all serve Dan equally. I'm guessing Michael will find out the fag is he himself
10/20/20, 6:32 AM
This is my favorite one tbh. Always have a soft spot for incubi though.
10/20/20, 6:29 AM
just like what the others have said, i am looking forward to more of this. just love trucker stories
10/20/20, 5:57 AM
Wow. You’re such a clever, smart writer, with your stories always managing to be so hot while also being clever and smart. I’m flattered you slipped Extreme Changeover in here. I think that was my first story, and definitely not my best. Definitely fits with the theme of your story here tho! I loved the slow changes. They were very nicely drawn out. And the spin of the metaphor. Again, very clever and smart.
Sexcrab
10/20/20, 5:33 AM
I think the only shortcoming in this story is the lack of detail and depth. There is not even a physical description of the boys at any point in this story. Even if this story explores other victims in the next part, there should be a complete, albeit basic, description of each young woman.
10/20/20, 4:25 AM
Damn!!! I can't wait for the rest.
10/20/20, 2:25 AM
As one of the guys who was not in favor of Dumbing Down, I enjoyed the story. Just coming off the end of Lovecraft Country, I see the story as speaking into being the changes the character goes through; the changes are through the various versions of the Dumbed down character motif. I myself have a story idea akin to this, but it's more one character actually reads and experiences the stories on the site. I could go on about what a metaphor really is and isn't, citing Paul Ricoeur, George Lakoff, and other philosophers and linguists in my library, but I'll leave that to the forum if the time should come. As to my dislike of the Dumbing Down motif, I still am not a fan of it. I want to write characters that have some degree of autonomy and engagement with the mind control and that will always put me at odds with the Dumbing Down motif. But it doesn't stop me from recognizing talent and a good story and that's what we have here.