Recent Comments

10/7/20, 9:18 PM
Great narrative style, love the concept! Got me thinking about all the F9 orgies those little buggers instigated! Very well done!
10/7/20, 9:00 PM
The way you got inside his head as he slowly succumbed to the manipulations, and gleefully gave up every bit of free will because he was just so turned on, was absolutely scorching. Outstanding.
10/7/20, 8:25 PM
Oh my GOD, this was PERFECT. I admit I have been checking the site a few times a day to wait for this chapter. And it did NOT disappoint! Everything about this was achingly hot--the transformation, the scene of Danny inspecting his new self, and ESPECIALLY the mental shift. There's a conversation in the forum right now about how to write a good "dumbing down" story; this is a perfect example. Seeing Danny go from a dedicated investigator to a hedonistic himbo who doesn't care about anything but sex and serving a master...daaaaamn. Well done! :)
10/7/20, 8:24 PM
I really liked this a lot, especially when the narrator was recounting past events. Once he gets caught up to the present moment, I think I would have switched to 3rd person narration, just to give the detective more of a role (and a voice) in the story--which, IMO, would have made the conclusion hotter.
10/7/20, 7:50 PM
There are some very interesting directions this story is going!!! =) Well, I just want to see more about what Edward does with his family for now, but investigating the coach later down the story seems like a good idea.
10/7/20, 6:50 PM
I should have realized that he was going to loose. Its kind of sad though. I wish he wouldn't have come out this way. But oh well, at least the first story had him being dominant and such. That said the general idea of this is pretty hot. Especially how he is turning the community into subby needy bottom boys.
10/7/20, 6:47 PM
This was incredibly hot. The idea that the brother had been hypnotized before and subconsciously likes it was brilliant. I very much like our our hypnotist brother is keeping in charge, staying on top. I hope that remains. I would like to suggest some rimming, that is, of our main brother rimming that of his subby brothers. As an aside I can imagine that the one teammate wasn't the only one hypnoed by the coach. I bet his fellow players were put under too. That could be an interesting dynamic. Though if our guy wants to keep it in the family then him keeping it so him and his brothers have some good time at home would be great. I could also see the father being hypnoed into submission and bottoming as well.
10/7/20, 6:43 PM
Honestly, I want t would like to see Edward put Coach Trent, and subsequently the rest of Luke's team under his control.
10/7/20, 6:39 PM
I've been looking forward to Part 2 since you mentioned you would be posting it. I really appreciate Danny's interiority and the time you spend building up to just how eager and horny Danny is to be transformed until he just begs for it. Very nice, very fucking hot.