Recent Comments

9/21/20, 3:34 PM
If Cory forgives his family, he's a fucking saint... I'll tell you this, if that happened to me, I would have gone full Carrie and then some. Cool story though.
9/21/20, 3:30 PM
Dam dude very hot! cant wait to see what you cum up with next
9/21/20, 3:12 PM
I think this is a terrific start. I always love stories that start off with a standard stage show. Keep up the good work. I can't wait to see the intensity level rise. It would also be cool to see perhaps one of the three more resistant than the others; perhaps they have some awareness as to what's going on
Anonymous
9/21/20, 2:41 PM
excellent
Anonymous
9/21/20, 2:27 PM
Argh, just as it gets started it stops again! :’) Like the writing style and you’re throwing out some nice kernels of intrigue, but we get very little pay off in this first chapter (and I’m not even just talking a lack of sex) Looking forward to seeing what chapter 2 brings, though. There’s definite promise in what we’ve got so far, we just need moooooore ;)
9/21/20, 1:48 PM
So... It's really hard to read when you don't divide it into more paragraphs. Just seeing that one big one makes it easy to lose your place. When writing you should always start a new paragraph whenever someone new is speaking.
9/21/20, 1:47 PM
The level of obedience from just a spiral felt a lil unrealistic. Regardless though I enjoyed the chapter and definitely had fun reading 😉
Anonymous
9/21/20, 1:47 PM
Loved this! Will we see more of Fandagh and Jonas? I hope we do, there's a lot of meat here!
9/21/20, 1:22 PM
fantastic series
Anonymous
9/21/20, 12:26 PM
Love the direction that the story is taking, so can’t wait to see where it’s going to go next! That said, this part feels like it could have benefitted from some more editing, especially in the second half. There are places where punctuation starts to drift off and things needed a second take to make sense. With a little more honing in that area this could go from a good story to a great one!