Recent Comments

9/11/20, 6:06 PM
Thanks a lot for your comments. I was a little bit unsure about this chapter. At first I had some trouble with Bob's perspective. But it's a relief that you enjoyed it. @BobbyBlobfish, yes you called it! Like I said in the first chapter, I have a rough idea of where I want to go with the characters so It would be fun to keep reading your predictions. @ForgottenCradle, a little bit of action it's coming in the next chapter :) Yes, Bob's whole personality was constructed around being an Alpha so his mind it's trying to make the best of the situation. The question here it's, what's stronger, Bob's Alpha identity or Dan's suggestions? With further corruption, will he abandon his Alpha identity or will he continue to justify his new thoughts?
9/11/20, 5:30 PM
great chapter. can't wait for the action to begin. Keep Bob oblivious,please. I really enjoy how his alpha nature tried to justify his thoughts about servitude. An alpha sucking an alpha's cock. great
Anonymous
9/11/20, 4:27 PM
Good use of perspective switch. Looking forward to next installment
9/11/20, 4:04 PM
great story! could have been a slower build but it was hot & creative!
9/11/20, 3:17 PM
Yes, both Bob trying to rationalize his thoughts and too much time in front of the video! Called it. 1. As long as the chapters aren't too long, I'm okay. This long and semi-frequently sound great to me but you take the time that you want. 2. Oblivious Bob, I enjoy how you write him during this chapter. 3. Dan gradually gaining confidence sound great to me, but I can see the appeal in him taking cues from his readings and being openly dominating, so I let you chose.
9/11/20, 3:16 PM
@absman420, I feel like in a story like this, you can handle the "But what about the women?" question one of two ways: 1) Ignore them completely, knowing that most of your readers only really care about what happens to the men and will be willing to suspend disbelief and write women out of this reality. 2) Create a pseudoscientific explanation for why the women don't notice or care what's happening. For instance, maybe when they breathe in a small amount of the plant's pollen, they start to believe that whatever's happening is perfectly normal. But having Mrs. Lenoldi come back, observe that her husband and son are now grotesquely well-endowed gay muscle freaks who are growing weird penis-shaped plants that seem to be taking over the town, and then not really care about that... (Like, did she get a lobotomy when she was away on that retreat?) I'm just giving you a hard time on that one detail because I love and admire your writing so much.
9/11/20, 3:01 PM
> Mr Mac’s three boys are a particularly hot touch. > The Variants are proving to be great fun to work with, too! They're easy to write.
9/11/20, 2:58 PM
> I was honestly a little worried when I read the first two sections, because it seemed to be starting off very slow. > Well, slow-er to be sure. If I'd started off at the breakneck pace that Book One ended on, I'd have no place to ramp up to -- we'd end up with single-sentence sections! I think the "establishing shots" of our cast after such a long break is forgivable. As you note, I pick it up by the end. > And I think I would have been happier if Mrs. Lenoldi had stayed off the canvas entirely; her presence in the household only messed with my suspension of disbelief > I'm legit sorry about that -- GOOD NEWS! We'll never see her again! > Maybe I’ll have to write that story someday :-) > ME: Fanboy drooling...
9/11/20, 2:47 PM
I'm so excited with this story 15 years in the making. Love some family fun time and I can't wait for the next chapter. Well, I guess we've waited years, so I can wait a bit longer. Thanks again for the brilliant chapter!
9/11/20, 2:43 PM
I was honestly a little worried when I read the first two sections, because it seemed to be starting off very slow. (And I think I would have been happier if Mrs. Lenoldi had stayed off the canvas entirely; her presence in the household only messed with my suspension of disbelief). But the pace started to pick up by the end of this installment, and some of the new developments, like the Variants, got me really excited to see what comes next. I'm just a little sad that the action is now shifting from the largely-transformed Indiana town where the Lenoldis and Mr. Mac live. I would have liked to have seen more vivid descriptions of what a community is like when nearly all the men have been transformed by Symbionts and they no longer need to hide their urge to fuck and repopulate. Maybe I'll have to write that story someday :-)