Recent Comments

Anonymous
9/8/20, 8:57 PM
@Delicious1papaya I agree with you 100%. In the first couple of chapters, I can see giving the "narrow and straight" brother some lessons. But when the "punishment" does not fit the "crime" anymore, then that makes me question it. I understand that it might be other's cup of tea to FORCE their desire into people but it's definitely not mine. @Pawn I admire your writing very much though there ARE questionable holes in your plot that was brought up in previous chapters (showering naked with hairless body actually getting attention more than a leather collar in the shower, not once were the parents mentioned [how would've Alex eaten during dinner with the family? on the floor? ], etc. I have to say that, looking at the direction you've taken and maybe will take your story, you seem to know EXACTLY who your audience is. KUDOS for that. I also agree with @KyleChu that this is YOUR story so you need to stick to whatever YOU think is a good ending.
Anonymous
9/8/20, 8:54 PM
I'd love to see more of Snake, and the gang of Muscle-Daddies he's build around himself as his personal cadre. Also, some description of face and body hair enhancement due to the bigger balls and much more testosterone. Of course, perhaps the symbiont manufactures it, after learning how and pumps it into their host? Either way, hair and muscle pushes my buttons!
9/8/20, 8:41 PM
Just for clarification, I wasn't really wondering what ending anyone wants, just what your thoughts were on having multiple endings at all, because I'm having a hard time deciding.
CMC
9/8/20, 8:01 PM
Surprisingly erotic. I enjoyed it.
CMC
9/8/20, 8:00 PM
I really like this. I wish there was more of the tf/makeover shown.
9/8/20, 7:48 PM
> I’m thinking that experience must have inspired a scene in “Cycle Two” as well! > Indeed!
Jay
9/8/20, 7:38 PM
Thanks, Derek. You're right to be certain, and I appreciate you saying those things. No, your stories weren't why I closed up shop, but certainly AI freaked me out enough to expedite it. AI can't write the whole thing for you, but that doesn't matter. (Asides from the fact that, sooner or later, it WILL be able to write the whole thing.) The point is the writer - the human mind and human effort. It's just sex, just smut, sure, but it's artistic expression all the same, and that a human can just have a robot write a chunk of his story for him is upsetting. I never had much luck writing detailed sex scenes, but god did I try my best. Now, I guess, with a robot, you don't have to try anymore. If you struggle with a part, have the bot do it for you. Nobody will notice, nobody will care. The human touch is dying, and nobody will come to its funeral. I do figure I should say, though, since I've failed to mention - this was a great story, with a great concept. You've always been a fantastic writer, and I looked up to and envied your writing style - keep it up. And don't take any of this as a personal attack, or as criticism of your motivation. Far from it. It's only my own concerns. As far as my own artistic expression, don't worry about me. I'm doing well. I'm a pretty decently active member of SABR now, lol. I think at some point the sexual aspect took a backseat anyways.
9/8/20, 7:30 PM
Excellent story. I like it when a body is transformed to conspire against its owner. I feel like there are many more surprises left for him to uncover. Reasonably there wouldn't be any clothes in the house that fits him, except whatever was bought during the last year. I would hope for pair of sneakers, a few revealing speedos, and nothing else... I'm also left wondering how his hair was styled.
9/8/20, 6:50 PM
@Delicious1papaya, I understand why you're upset and its totally acceptable that that this kinds of stories is not for anyone. Of course, this kind of behavior would be unacceptable in real life, and thats totally fine. That being said, I hope that Pawn doesn't get discouraged to continue writing his story. Just know that there are some people in here who also like what you're serving us right now. As for your ending, I prefer if you write YOUR own ending instead of making the readers choose. This is your story so you should end it the way YOU want to end it. At the end of the day, you have to be satisfied with what you write
9/8/20, 6:44 PM
I really enjoy your writing - you have a great way of getting into the characters' headspace and making it very visceral. Similar to AnonDragon, the part of my literary psyche that is a greedy-ass bottom just wants *more* of this story - the intervening chapters, what comes next, etc. A few logical inconsistencies jumped out at me: - When Arjun said "so we're fucking equals," I really thought he was going to somehow flip both their switches and either make them both subs or somehow meet in the middle. Was he referring to the switch-flipping mechanic, or just giving Jake the honor of topping him while getting flipped? - It really wasn't clear to me when Arjun flipped, or if he was constantly vacillating between flipped/not flipped, or almost flipped, while getting fucked. The narration and his behaviour were ambiguous. - Also, why 6 months? Does the switch automatically flip back after that long? Can't Arjun flip his own switch? - Why would Jake have needed extra conditioning to flip back? As it was presented in ch1, I thought the switch was an on-off proposition. - Why was Arjun's switch in the same spot as Jake's, and why was Jake able to flip it? In ch1, he made it clear that every guy has one, but Jake's happens to be right in his ass, but that Arjun is one of the few with a talent for finding and flipping it. Those are nitpicks. I really enjoyed this entire story. Keep it up!