Recent Comments

9/3/20, 7:40 PM
@BateFan If you send me a draft of the next installment before you post it, I can help you "Southern fry" some of your dialogue.
9/3/20, 7:06 PM
@Hypnothrill and Malskin Noted! I suppose the reason behind that is I feel like I wouldn't be good at it? and I guess I'm not sure how even best to bring the southern accent to life. I can try in the next installment!
9/3/20, 6:57 PM
Looooved this. Great conclusion to the story!
Hunter_C_Wolfe@Hotmail.Com
9/3/20, 6:24 PM
Public humiliation is a major turn on for me, especially your touch of having it broadcast as you did. Maybe next time, it will be a live streamed event.
9/3/20, 5:49 PM
That was a super sweet story, Wesley! I loved the evolution of the protagonist through his corruption to, in the end, have a heartwarming ending where he united with the commander as a family!
9/3/20, 5:26 PM
@Pawn, the character arc doesnt even have to be that extreme or anything. You can show some small indications that Alex is getting resigned to his fate. Like for example maybe he stops getting mad about jerking off to gay porn as he's just used to getting turned on to it by now, or maybe he's starting to backtalk a lot less. Your teaser for this end chapter is pretty interesting too, because having a third person knowing about Alex's predicament introduces some new potential dynamics with this John character. So your story has a lot of potential! If youre having any problems and concerns, shoot me a message or a comment. Maybe I can provide you with more suggestions
Anonymous
9/3/20, 4:52 PM
Fucking hot!
9/3/20, 4:23 PM
can't wait for the next chapter.
9/3/20, 4:18 PM
> Excited to see you reposting this in smaller chunks. > I know. However it got here in the first place -- I didn't originally post this story here -- they threw it up in one big chunk, nearly 80K words! It was a little daunting, so I wanted to make it more welcoming to the first time reader. Also, I've done a substantial amount of rewriting. > For now, the characters seem to have kept their original names, so I’m interested to see when that changes. > It could have with the Sheriff. Mark Lane is a person I know (knew) IRL -- the guy who inspired the story MILK MAN, as a matter of fact. That's actually the reason I decided to leave the Sheriff's name alone -- homage. I'll let you know who's real and who's not as we go along. W.B is also a real person, whose real name I don't know (someone I knew from the MGS site -- WBHulk -- who wrote a lot of fun Hulk-sex stories -- so I gave him a cameo in this). > I can’t wait to read the new chapters you’re writing. > There are nine sections of BOOK ONE -- I'll post a section a day -- and then I have four sections done of BOOK TWO -- I'll post them once a week. Hopefully, I can keep that schedule.
BPtime
9/3/20, 3:44 PM
Sizzling hot stuff. Great buildup from the start.