Recent Comments

9/3/20, 8:26 AM
A great New Chapter, You can see the influence that Henry now has over Dustin, i am not sure if this is the last chapter of this story, but i would like to see a post chapter of how Dustin has changed in a previous chapter you did say its a pity your family life is over - Thanks for writing this
9/3/20, 7:44 AM
I am enjoying this greatly. I going on to the next chapter.
9/3/20, 7:33 AM
Great development in the mystery. Looking forward for it to continue.
Anonymous
9/3/20, 7:29 AM
great work
9/3/20, 6:44 AM
Potentially a really hot premise, but I felt like you were racing through the most interesting parts of the story (the app being used to take over the office and then the whole world) in order to get to the ad for your OnlyFans at the end.
9/3/20, 6:36 AM
Just read through the whole thing, and I'm loving it! Please keep going!
Martin
9/3/20, 6:33 AM
Please reformat your story, you need to add paragraph separations to make it readable. To add an paragraph break, please insert an empty line between the paragraphs!
9/3/20, 6:05 AM
it is good to turn on the pc and see this waiting to be read, i suppose its good to see a new technique in the brainwashing conversion, making new citizens of Dicksburg. As Matt is completely out of it from his long drive, Brad will be a total loyal member of the community by the time he wakes up. Maybe the Dukes can use Brads former knowledge as a PI. i for one always love to hear the southern accent, so i agree with Hypnothrill on that. Thanks for the update
9/3/20, 5:19 AM
You've done great work so far and honestly, I don't think your story is short at all. Sure the word count might be small, but your writing is very concise and your plot progressions are great. One thing I would suggest though is that something needs to change in your next few chapters. Cody's humiliation of his brother can only go so far before it starts to feel too repetitive. So far its working but sooner or later, there needs to be a change in Alex like maybe he becomes more submissive and obedient. Its strictly just my opinion though. If you already have drafts, you probably should just stick to em and not try to add any fluff or else your story might just end up being bogged down by extra words or scenes that dont really add up to anything
Hunter_C_Wolfe@Hotmail.Com
9/3/20, 5:05 AM
I like idea of power, blackmail etc. Maybe couple video clips made with threat of going on xtube or adam4adam? Should probably gain email & other social media account access.