Recent Comments

9/3/20, 5:19 AM
You've done great work so far and honestly, I don't think your story is short at all. Sure the word count might be small, but your writing is very concise and your plot progressions are great. One thing I would suggest though is that something needs to change in your next few chapters. Cody's humiliation of his brother can only go so far before it starts to feel too repetitive. So far its working but sooner or later, there needs to be a change in Alex like maybe he becomes more submissive and obedient. Its strictly just my opinion though. If you already have drafts, you probably should just stick to em and not try to add any fluff or else your story might just end up being bogged down by extra words or scenes that dont really add up to anything
Hunter_C_Wolfe@Hotmail.Com
9/3/20, 5:05 AM
I like idea of power, blackmail etc. Maybe couple video clips made with threat of going on xtube or adam4adam? Should probably gain email & other social media account access.
9/3/20, 4:36 AM
Don't be afraid to ask for some editing help from a native speaker--that's what the message board and Discord are for. Also, it would be nice to get a clearer sense of how the motel is warping the minds of its guests. The narrator's sudden decision that he wanted to shave his body seemed to come out of nowhere.
9/3/20, 4:21 AM
Kind of an interesting twist, with Alex the desk clerk still undergoing his brainwashing. But I am eager to see what happens once they finally get out of the hotel room. I especially look forward to seeing Brad's interaction with his friend Matt. One small question: I'm a little curious as to why no one in the story so far seems to be speaking with a southern accent.
Anonymous
9/3/20, 4:09 AM
excuse me but a certain philosopher from saratov would like a word with you
9/3/20, 4:00 AM
It was an awesome story! I wish there was more, especially focusing on Cody's training at the gym and how he fell under the doc's control
9/3/20, 1:33 AM
glad yo hear more to cum !
Apr 23, 2020
9/3/20, 12:14 AM
continue the story !
Lusty Stallion
9/2/20, 8:58 PM
Thanks for the encouragememt guys. I'm looking forward to seeing where this one goes too
9/2/20, 7:10 PM
> Four years ago when my CigarDADDY decided to make me his latest SMOKEpig he tied me to a chair duct taped a big maduro cigar in my mouth nip suckers on my virgin nips and this story scrolling in front of me > That is one of the most flattering things I've ever read! Super hot to know my work was part of your induction.