Recent Comments

8/10/20, 7:59 AM
Another great chapter. I must admit that I found the whole "not playing football cause it is gay" rather weird. Especially when the guy is wannabe actor. I would have thought that the prejudice against those two passions would have been opposite. Who thinks football is gay?
8/10/20, 7:09 AM
This one worked a lot better and the flow was there that built up the dramatic tension. Looking forward to the next part!
8/10/20, 6:34 AM
A great story that definitely gave me "Star Kid" vibes in the beginning, but the grammar and spelling errors were too persistent to ignore. Your idea and descriptions are all great, but this needs some heavy cleaning up.
8/10/20, 6:20 AM
I love the end!!
Anonymous
8/10/20, 5:23 AM
This was so hot!! Maybe in a later scene julio can pick up that priest again and get a little closer ;) i can't wait for the next chapter.
8/10/20, 5:06 AM
This is getting more enthralling with each installment, keep up the god wrk!
8/10/20, 4:36 AM
I love this. I really like stories where various guys are transformed in different ways, especially when they're given different fetishes. Very cool.
8/10/20, 4:19 AM
Oh man, I didn’t even think to double check that the AI and I were using consistent spelling for Jonny’s name. Good call out, I’ll be more careful about that. I’m not worried that fiction writers are going to be replaced by AI anytime this year. There’s too much structure and editing required to get really usable text out of it. That said... it’s actually a lot of fun to write with. It feels like a good brainstorming partner when you don’t have to worry about ego around rejection and rewriting. For that reason, I’m gonna keep churning out entries in this series while I learn more about where I can lean on it and where I have to bring the goods myself. For anyone who’s following this experiment, here are some things I did differently in chapter 2: - I let the AI handle a lot of the incidental dialog, but anything that changed the plot direction, I tended to refine and rewrite. - I was more proactive about steering the plot. For example, the AI came up with Jonny’s football obsession (including his Mom’s concerns!), but I decided to move it earlier in the story, before we got to his hair. It made more sense for the hair to be a consequence of the football, so I shifted the story structure around to accommodate it. - In some areas, I prompted the AI to say quite a lot about a topic (the haircut), and then trimmed it down to my favourite sentences, adding in the connective tissue as required.
8/10/20, 4:06 AM
Nice! I like the way we get an embedded narrative with the priest telling the erotic fantasy he has about his parishioners.
8/10/20, 3:53 AM
I think this chapter worked a lot better, especially towards the end when Jonny/Johnny gets fetishes for football and spandex. At the beginning, we were still getting some choppy, mechanical passages like: "Jon complied with my orders. 'Turn around' Once again, he complied."