Recent Comments

8/10/20, 4:06 AM
Nice! I like the way we get an embedded narrative with the priest telling the erotic fantasy he has about his parishioners.
8/10/20, 3:53 AM
I think this chapter worked a lot better, especially towards the end when Jonny/Johnny gets fetishes for football and spandex. At the beginning, we were still getting some choppy, mechanical passages like: "Jon complied with my orders. 'Turn around' Once again, he complied."
8/10/20, 3:24 AM
Been enjoying your contributions so far this year, all have been focused. fresh, new ideas, and well written, but this on is my favorite. There's something about the idea of 'is there something on my face' that really has a lot of potential.
Spiral Fan
8/10/20, 1:06 AM
Waiting for the climax where the game finish and completely change their identity. And they make an orgy copulation!
Spiral Fan
8/10/20, 12:47 AM
Creative and hot as fuck!! love the idea of game that can slowly change guy into queer. Will read the next chapters!
8/9/20, 11:32 PM
@Nutiper - that's a great point. AI Dungeon has some ability specify which facts are 'remembered', so I think I'll try that in the third chapter and see if that helps the build up a bit. The second chapter is already done and waiting approval.
Nutiper
8/9/20, 11:22 PM
Exciting to see you experiment with this! I did sense something "off", like others have mentioned, and I sometimes felt like I could tell the Derek parts (hot!) from the AI parts (0̸̛̯̙͎̭͓̣̱̞̲̝̜͖̗̜̋́͌̋̅̓͑͗̚͜1̷̱͉̯̳͔̬͓̤̈́̄̏̽̓̿́̉́̒̊͠0̶̨͎̺̟͙̭̈́̓ͅ0̷̹̠̻̬̲̥͈̭̹̂͜͝1̴͓̱̭̙̭̱͚͈̟͔̺̳͈̽ͅ0̷̤̤͍̰̭̥̻̝̼͔̊̅͜0̵̟̣̰͉̮͎̝̠̰̳̠̋͗̀͜0̸̼͍͙͖͙̤͇̣̚!), so I was trying to figure out what it was exactly... This might not be the only thing, but what I noticed myself was that the AI in general is really bad at "flow" -- it has no memory of what happened in previous paragraphs, and no way to anticipate what might happen in later paragraphs either. But "flow" is one of your strengths as a writer, and also what makes so many of your stories so *hot*. Like, this gradual development of transformation... Evolving reactions of the people transformed, as they realize what they've gotten into... The way the character dynamics shift in subtle/realistic ways with every paragraph, as things accumulate and the situation intensifies... I guess what felt off sometimes was that the reactions and the resulting dialogue didn't always build that "flow" as cohesively -- sometimes they even disrupted a flow that was being built successfully for a moment. I think the characters also felt a bit less coherent for that reason. I mean, a character's dialogue and actions pretty much shape our understanding of them. So, if the dialogue and actions feel "off" (due to lack of memory/lack of flow), then I guess it makes sense that the characters might feel "off" as well... Maybe this is why some readers reacted to the story the way they did? Not sure... But, again -- this is definitely just one person's take, and I'm not sure I'm diagnosing this correctly at all! (Just because I can type a long paragraph about "flow" or whatever doesn't make me right.) I'd trust your gut here, and go with whatever your instincts are telling you. Either way, it's a super cool experiment, and I'm looking forward to the next chapters of the story!
8/9/20, 10:49 PM
Thanks for the feedback guys! I think I'm gonna keep using the AI assistance while I write this series, because I'm finding that it's taking me in directions that I wouldn't have gone otherwise. I'm definitely trying to learn how to get the best stories out of it, so please keep giving feedback about what you think it working and what isn't. I'll admit, I was super tempted not to tag it as 'ai assisted story', but I feel like this is a public experiment and I want to be upfront about what I'm trying here. I've got a short list of people that our mysterious stranger is going to meet in town. If you have any suggestions, drop a comment with them! I'm hoping that by the time I get a few of these stories into the series, I'll have smoothed out the rough patches when it comes to AI. @Cris Kane - Hah, that's a great idea, but not the one I'm doing right now. Maybe one day.
Bbeef
8/9/20, 7:39 PM
really a cool one!
8/9/20, 6:11 PM
I'm doing well but I've gotten a bit busy with other things. Hope you all are safe and sound too