Recent Comments

8/8/20, 3:04 PM
I loved this! Hope a Sequel Comes soon!
Jan 15, 2019
8/8/20, 12:51 PM
more! hot!
8/8/20, 10:27 AM
Liked the WEST WORLD vibe. Did the protagonist know from the beginning that it was a robot gym? He seemed reluctant at first and then all of a sudden... robots! I liked the feel and it's got some good possibilities -- especially, if like every other of the Michael Chrichton theme-park breaks down stories, it goes along that path. Keep going.
8/8/20, 8:29 AM
I love this! I hope there's more so we can see him serving as a domestic servant 😍
8/8/20, 7:24 AM
I'm glad to see this series being continued!
8/8/20, 6:35 AM
Nice writing! I agree that it would be nice to learn Mark's motivations or maybe Owen is controlling him? Reminds me of the stepford wives
8/8/20, 4:42 AM
This story ended up going in such a different direction than I expected, I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it. I think it would have helped if we'd gotten a scene early on where Mark and Owen chat about their relationships, Mark expresses some frustration with Dave, and Owen brags about how he keeps his boyfriend in line.
8/8/20, 4:22 AM
I'm not sure if there's any actual mind control in this story, but it's still a hot scenario and creative bit of world building, full of possibilities.
8/8/20, 4:22 AM
I love the plot of this story and the topics push all my buttons. Not enough stories of people becoming dom. I do wish it was slower and more detailed, though.
8/8/20, 4:16 AM
I loved the Iraq War detail in your story--it might have been for shock value, but it was a much-needed shock, grounding the fantasy/fetish elements surrounding the military man in the harsh reality of what was happening to US soldiers at that moment. By the time I wrote this, I didn't feel like the Iraq detail was entirely relevant anymore, so I left it out. But I tried to keep the dark, paranoid atmosphere, where the entire town is becoming militarized "pod people." With the "Support Our Troops!" mentality of the 2000s, it sometimes felt like that anyway. And the video game (which was my own invention) is a riff on a real-life recruiting tool which the US armed forces spent a lot of money developing, a game called "America's Army."