Recent Comments

8/8/20, 6:35 AM
Nice writing! I agree that it would be nice to learn Mark's motivations or maybe Owen is controlling him? Reminds me of the stepford wives
8/8/20, 4:42 AM
This story ended up going in such a different direction than I expected, I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it. I think it would have helped if we'd gotten a scene early on where Mark and Owen chat about their relationships, Mark expresses some frustration with Dave, and Owen brags about how he keeps his boyfriend in line.
8/8/20, 4:22 AM
I'm not sure if there's any actual mind control in this story, but it's still a hot scenario and creative bit of world building, full of possibilities.
8/8/20, 4:22 AM
I love the plot of this story and the topics push all my buttons. Not enough stories of people becoming dom. I do wish it was slower and more detailed, though.
8/8/20, 4:16 AM
I loved the Iraq War detail in your story--it might have been for shock value, but it was a much-needed shock, grounding the fantasy/fetish elements surrounding the military man in the harsh reality of what was happening to US soldiers at that moment. By the time I wrote this, I didn't feel like the Iraq detail was entirely relevant anymore, so I left it out. But I tried to keep the dark, paranoid atmosphere, where the entire town is becoming militarized "pod people." With the "Support Our Troops!" mentality of the 2000s, it sometimes felt like that anyway. And the video game (which was my own invention) is a riff on a real-life recruiting tool which the US armed forces spent a lot of money developing, a game called "America's Army."
Jul 30, 2020
Anonymous
8/8/20, 3:55 AM
I'm obsessed with this story! I need it to continue!
YumYum
8/8/20, 3:09 AM
Hot story. Personally I wish Darren is a top and gets his dick milked hard by Gary's mouth and ass.
8/8/20, 1:22 AM
Height loss + humiliating wardrobe was unexpectedly hot!
Aug 4, 2020
8/8/20, 1:16 AM
A good start. Liked the shifting limited third-person perspectives. Prefer to see some dumbing down elements and there were a few too many typos that distracted me. Interested to see more of the actual hypnosis and where this goes.
8/8/20, 12:48 AM
you got me pounding my greasy COCK and howling out loud from start to finish, thank you so much.