Recent Comments

8/2/20, 3:37 PM
Ya the proofreading is something I've been trying to work out better for a while. In regards to the Josh part and having the dads couple up it will be more clear in other parts. Each of the dads will get a part mainly about them and in one of them it will talk a lot more about why they are coupled up.
Smpke
8/2/20, 2:18 PM
One of my all time favorites.
8/2/20, 1:57 PM
I liked the original story and this shows great promise. More please!
Evan
8/2/20, 9:43 AM
Pity about the formatting glitch. Sorry you have to fix it up but I am looking forward to reading it when it's sorted out. The tags and concept sound really interesting.
8/2/20, 8:38 AM
Hummm.... Dace, You forgot to put paragraph in the text... It's readable, but could you please edit the story to add some space?
8/2/20, 8:13 AM
I really liked this one a lot--very turned on by the imagery of the various brainwashed dads in the neighborhood wearing only jockstraps and collars as they cleaned the creepy neighbor's house! However, there were some parts that didn't make much sense to me, especially the material with Josh. I just didn't understand why the Daddy would have compelled these two to couple up. Also, this story could have really benefited from some proofreading; there were enough spelling errors that I had to read some sentences twice, just to figure out what they were trying to say (e.g. "The man soon cam form the pleasure").
8/2/20, 8:00 AM
this is so hot keep it going this is the best we need more of this!!
Jul 30, 2020
Martin
8/2/20, 6:52 AM
Sorry, Cock, you *have* to continue this. The build-up is perfect, obvious from the beginning of course, but if you're going to promise and tease us like this, you have to deliver! I'm not so much into body tf stories, but this story made me hard and leaky. Really well done!
8/2/20, 6:49 AM
I really appreciate the feedback you guys have given me, it's super useful! I'll have a think about the form of these extensions, I think I'll make a sequel focusing more on what happens after this, incorporating your tips into it. Thanks!
8/2/20, 5:16 AM
I would absolutely love to see more of this story! there aren't enough stories out there of older muscled daddies being the targets of hypnosis and mind manipulation. I really hope you continue