Recent Comments

Jul 30, 2020
Martin
8/2/20, 6:52 AM
Sorry, Cock, you *have* to continue this. The build-up is perfect, obvious from the beginning of course, but if you're going to promise and tease us like this, you have to deliver! I'm not so much into body tf stories, but this story made me hard and leaky. Really well done!
8/2/20, 6:49 AM
I really appreciate the feedback you guys have given me, it's super useful! I'll have a think about the form of these extensions, I think I'll make a sequel focusing more on what happens after this, incorporating your tips into it. Thanks!
8/2/20, 5:16 AM
I would absolutely love to see more of this story! there aren't enough stories out there of older muscled daddies being the targets of hypnosis and mind manipulation. I really hope you continue
Anonymous
8/2/20, 3:19 AM
Great story. Hope you continue
Nutiper
8/2/20, 2:47 AM
> "So hot! Reminds me of something Nicky Noxville would write" > cccallum, I had to wait till the author-reveals to comment on how prescient this was! I also guessed it was Nicky before the reveal, but didn't want to say anything till we knew for sure. Nicky has such a hot and recognizable writing style -- his stories are always fantastic, and distinctly his.
8/2/20, 2:37 AM
And my hunch was correct; thank you, Hypnothrill for using my story as a jump-off point.
jamiemboy
8/2/20, 1:50 AM
Even though it felt a bit like a rush.. I did love the content ! especially the combination of cumcows + army + dumb bros.. Very hot :)
8/1/20, 10:53 PM
I feel a few problems with this story. One is the General geting recruits seems farfetched; even if it were a special project, a General as the head of a project wouldn't get recruits. He leaved that to lower ranking soldiers. You do a good job with the building up over the story, but I didn't really feel the payoff in the end of the story; it might work over a series of episodes better.
8/1/20, 10:03 PM
> I just feel like the story needs more room to breathe. > I agree completely -- what a very hot premise! There are three distinct chapters within this chapter and they could all be fleshed out. 1) The brothers' disappearance and ultimately, the taking of our protaganist, ending as he arrives at the facility. 2) The first few days in training -- we see the General (might be smarter to make him a drill sergeant, instead) changing some of the recruits. 3) The protaganists change and finding his bros. This is a REALLY erotic and promising start! Please continue.
8/1/20, 9:59 PM
I really liked how real you made the characters. It was a really interesting idea. I would have loved to have known more about the gorilla boy, but you captured the longing to fit in and be needed very well. Great job.