It seems these guys are educated i hope that Dicksburg changes that and they talk in more of a local accent soon to blend in with there New Home

So, I've been planning to write this for a long time. English don't being my native language doesn't help either... First of all, congratulations on completing another story. An incredible, sexy, dynamic story with characters with a lot to say. But, in fact, I would like to talk about "**Personal Toy**", his now only unfinished story so far. Personal Toy has been one of my favorite stories on the site since it was created. It has everything I ever wanted to see: A bunch of different hot daddies hypnotized and obedient to a horny young man. Bonuses for turning them into whores to serve their beautiful mature bodies to anyone who can afford them and Extra Extra Bonus for Jake, the protagonist, not being a life-destroying monster. He loves and lets his toys think for themselves most of the time and always gives the pleasure that his middle-aged hunks deserves. Which leads me to the way he treats his stepfather. I must say, it bothers me. His two other slaves have a real personality, with mannerisms, approaches and defects and as far as it is concerned, he keeps his jobs and personal lives partially intact (I can't say much about Fornelli yet, but ...). However, this does not happen with your first slave. Steve does not go far beyond a mindless bitch who obeys and serves his master, has no personal life and in the last chapters, Jake has been discarding him in favor of the other slaves, visibly. I hope you try to recover their relationship somehow. Another point is the difference between this story and the others. This is your unique story that so far it is not, in any way, romantic. And honestly? I would like it to continue like this. And your chance to write a story with a different path you usually take, from the young gay man who hypnotizes the handsome mature man and ends up falling in love with him. I don't want to belittle you, your stories are all incredible, but you have more than enough talent to create great excerpts from different situations. I would love to see new sexy daddies falling under Jake's control in the future, like a daddy businessman or a Ex-Con and Jake creating a daddy harem for himself (and others). I didn't want to see Jake getting especially interested in one slave, as was implied in the last chapter posted, where Jake practically falls in love with Fornelli. I hope it is a flash in the pan. Finally, and this is going to be more difficult, I think there should be a better explanation for your powers. Jake touched a space rock and Poof! Hot guys at your feet. Whoever is your fan must have realized that you are far from being a Hard-Magic writer but in your other stories there is a more rounded, plausible explanation about the method of mind control exercised. Mental chips, strong hypnotic triggers or learning machine. And "The Chip" has the added bonus of advancing the consequences of using the mind control chip on someone (albeit in slow steps). Nobody until now perceives anything different in Jake's life (like the government, for example) may not be exactly a problem for fans, but it would be a waste of a hook for a story that doesn't stick to a definite direction. A big text, I know. I hope I conveyed well what I wanted to say. Best WIshes.

I think perhaps this story tries to do too much. There's a lot going on and it doesn't seem to come together in a way that the reader can follow. I can feel the intent of the story and generally follow the plot but it was confusing.

Good story. Definitely gives off heavy Black Mirror vibes, not that that's a bad thing. Sometimes got a little confusing who was where, but then again so did the character so that was probably intentional.

amazing story! Not so keen on the twist but the story got me gking. thanks

what a great story. i loved it all. muscle growth, age change, compupence. perfect

This was not usually my cup of tea, but the ending resolved most of my concerns (not a fan of possession or race change oriented stories as a general rule) if not exactly aroused, by this unique take on the possession angle. You've managed something better than erotica, you've managed sexy art.

Interesting view. Handled well. Sometimes being a little more vague about subject's body (ie, eye color and such) would help for others to be pulled into story. Thank you!

SOOOOOO sexy. LOVING this. And very very excited to see Youseff's experience in the next chapter...

That was really great man. Wish I had one kicking around.