Recent Comments

7/25/20, 1:02 AM
Just a tiny red dot. Power in darkness hidden by size. So much better than the usual spiral or interference screen. There are many reader comments on this site after a good story such as "take me!!" "I want to join that gym" "how do I get some of that" etc. It's guys in real life wanting their fantasies to come true, to be in that story, regardless the cost. And now we see Strong doing it. Giving in to his fantasy. Excited about the new him balanced with just the right amount of nervousness. Just a red dot...and he happily gave into it. Bravo! As would we all!!
7/25/20, 12:27 AM
everything I do is intentional. I have a plan to tie this prequel series into the first series and shed some light as to Jay's intentions with the first series.
7/25/20, 12:11 AM
> So basically Strong should have either run away with Prince (who based on this chapter might have actually done it), or at least took Prince with him as backup > See Chapter 25
7/25/20, 12:03 AM
The writing is good, but I'm a little confused. Jay comes off as a sadistic dude in the original series and doesn't care what happens to his stepdad. Yet here, he clearly cares about what happens with Mr. Turner, he even goes so far as to embrace him in a caring way. I think you need to establish where that change in Jay happens that makes him become a sadistic person, or explain why he care's so much for Mr. Turner. Side note, I personally thin Jay should put the twins under cause they seem like they're taking advantage of Jay, and I don't believe for a second that they deleted the video off their phone.
7/24/20, 11:15 PM
Damn fine print. LOL.
7/24/20, 11:13 PM
This whole Story reminds me of "Addicted to S.T.U.D.", which was the first story of yours i ever read. And that reminds me of the original "Total Recall" movie... So basically Strong should have either run away with Prince (who based on this chapter might have actually done it), or at least took Prince with him as backup (though that might have been putting him in too much danger). Fingers crossed for a happy ending, but like S.T.U.D. I'm more expecting an ambiguous or bittersweet one.
7/24/20, 11:06 PM
I felt bad that so many of you didn't like where I left this - so let's keep going? See if we can't make at least some of you happy.
nycboot
7/24/20, 10:36 PM
@HunkLover: Here's the iPad -so give it another crack!! And good luck.:)
7/24/20, 8:27 PM
>Feels like the calm before the storm. > WARNING! Climax ahead. Please lock seat belts in place and keep your arms in the car at all times
7/24/20, 8:27 PM
Steve, you would need re-read the notecard in Part 1 for your answer to that. It's intriguing how much of an impact twins has had on this series :P