I'm finding myself in agreement with a lot of these comments. I've become a big fan of manservant and butler transformations ever since reading Cycle Training by Manservant https://www.gayspiralstories.com/newStory/show/148151. The HP universe took me by surprise but could be fun to explore a darker side of magic. The stately feel almost give this like HP lovecraft meets Harry potter. And I'm totally here for that. I especially liked the suit fitting scene. Made sense why he'd have a closet full of suits later in the story. One thing I think Jon touched on is that this story is not edited. There are grammar and formatting mistakes all over the place. Why is a line of dialogue not a new paragraph? It's such a shame because I feel that if people can't read your work they won't judge it for how good and original a piece of writing it is. I used to struggle with that too but I've found that using a free editing software can help. I use http://hemingwayapp.com/ It's on my bookmark bar. Definitely made more for students handing in papers but It works for fiction too. Axon said they were brought out of the story because of the pun-slightly-intended mechanics of quantum mechanics. And while I didn't catch that I was brought out by the fact that I don't think I know what anyone in this story wants. Charlie seems to vacillate between wanting to study quantum mechanics and wanting to play dress up in a rich guy's house. Why did Charlie drop everything to be fitted for a suit with no pushback? It drains an otherwise really hot scene of its charm and sex appeal. Why did he sign a contract he didn't understand? One would think a student at the forefront of scientific study would have the common sense to think over signing his life away for more than a minute at most. If the answers to these questions are "He was under an imperius curse" I will be very dissapointed because I want to believe he changes, but I need to know what he wants to know why he is straying from his goals. Now with James (and by extension the servants) I have a lot of questions. First off, Why is he so nice? I don't think he should be so nice. On the one hand he is shown as propper and fancy. I think you're trying to show him as elitist and self centered. But that's more of an aesthetic he lives in. It's not characterization it doesn't tell me anything about him as a person. What I do see from him is a relatively nice guy who's very interested in helping this man understand magic and further his studies into the quantum world. The only thing close to evil we see him do is stop that servant who was pretty clearly coming out from his magical spell. And that scene went unquestioned by Charlie as well. He becomes a non-agent in the latter half of the story. The thing that really got me though was how James keeps telling Charlie to not wear the uniform. If he's grooming him to be a servant surely he'd be all for the young man wearing the uniform. In summation, this is a great first venture from you. I'm shocked that a first time author made a story that hit this many buttons for me. Please work on your editing and formatting in future chapters and above all DON'T STOP HERE! There needs to be more magical manservant stories on here! I can't wait to read more.

AROooOOOoOoOOOooO!!!!!!!!!!

Great start man!

This is just incredible. Everything about this series is so hot! I love the shrinking, especially when contrasted and combined with growth. It would be great to hear how the two studs handle being tiny. What will their sex be like while they're both hung like light switches? Will they need a third guy with a huge cock to help them out? I also like the idea above about the oil having a cumulative effect!

Aw man don't leave us hanging!! Next part next part!! 😁😁

Damn man love hairy gorilla bro and devolving content. It's super manly and hot! Can't wait to see what happens next.

What a well-written chapter and amazing twist! So curious to see where it goes from here! But as long as someone, be it Jafar or Jake or some combination of the two, ends up as a god and dominating the world, I'll be very happy.

@Mind Labyrinth I'll admit, Majid is not the most intricately created character in the literary world - but then again he's not a particularly deep person: He's a chancer and a liar; hoping to swindle money out of tourists without doing it in a way they'll ever spot. He's a low level crook, who isn't necessarily a bad person - he's just not your friend either. I was concerned that Jake's reaction to Jafar's first appearance would seem unrealistic - at no point did he ask any real questions, or reject what was in front of him - in contrast, Majid's primary feelings of fear and disbelief felt more authentic - but again, he's not a hero and he's not our protagonist. He's at best an annoyance to Jafar and an unwitting cum dump for Jake. Jake's feelings for him were formed when Majid was the more attractive of the two of them - now Jake looks in the mirror and sees the man he always wanted to be, Majid really doesn't mean an awful lot to Jake at all - he views him as a "distraction" and little more.

more please !!!

Great start! Looking forward to seeing where this goes!