Noted, Jon S. There's a lot of residual from changes to pace and style. I can look at fixing some of the issues you have presented.

Good lord, I think too much. Anyone want to take a 28 year old, over the top bi guy and turn him into a jock, have at it lol

It's coming. I've already started adding everything I yanked out trying to make it fit in the space allowed by the challenge back in. Expect an unknown number of chapters sometime in early August after the challenge ends.

Really need more of this

WOW!!! A truly amazing story. Loved every bit of it. The highs, the lows...everything. The ending was above perfect. You tied up everything, without any loose threads. Can't wait to read more from you. Thank you for such a great experience.

Holy shit Absman, that was incredibly hot, and then you tagged it with a real life straight-ish dude story. I feel like maybe Danny might have influenced Mimbo Drops a little too ;) I also think too much. Weed does the job for me.

Good twisty story and you bringing in your other "good" protagonists from other stories to stop Alex's evil. Few authors like you have written intricate plots like this with erotic fiction, it almost feels like the your "MC" Avengers are assembling to face off against some big bad. About the setup: Rob was smart enough to program a counter command into Paul and he also had used commands on himself from the last story, so it goes to reason that the re-educator cannot affect him. However, with years of experimentation and research, I'd imagine Rob had figured the limits of Megawave-like tech; perhaps enough to extract Jake's true personality out. However, there's also the professor with his own device. A 3-way battle of MC tech would be fun and extremely erotic.

Yeah I'm glad you went with the alternate ending instead of your original one. I ended up loving Mikey so much that it would be a shame to see him disappear from Roger's life. One thing I would've wished you kept was Stacy's reaction to Phil and Roger. I did think that the "canon" version of Stacy's reaction was a little too convenient. I would've felt hurt and betrayed in her position if I found out that my dad ended his marriage with my mom because he fell in love with a person that I was dating in the past.

Very nice! Looks like there'll be more to follow up on what happens to Paul. Good start and thumbs up to the Anonymous Author! Looking forward to it!

A good set up for things to come. However, was confusing in a lot of areas. What happened to Charlie's essay or whatever he was accomplished for? Why would he just trot off to a stranger's house over it and why did this Linfriedson person care about it? Who was he anyway? Who was Charlie? Then it suddenly slips into Harry Potter universe with no set up. Don't get me wrong, I'm an HP fan but there was just no warning about it. So, is Charlie a Muggle? Was he a wizard all along? Or is this a Harry Potter situation where he's finding out? (ARRRRGGGHHH!!! Yur a wizard Charlie!) kind of thing? I would like a better description of the house. All that is mentioned is that it is "foreboding" and then nothing. However, once inside it seems very Victorian/Gothic with corridors and studies and dining rooms and such. Also remember, this is Godric's Hollow, a small village. A large, imposing mansion may look out of place there, although every town and city does have a 'richest' person and therefore big house. However... and just an idea here.... what about a two story, lopsided and otherwise normal sized house that is... larger on the inside? Re: the paragraph and part of the story that starts with: “This will do far better”, the lad smiled. He lead me to an exquisite dining room, reminiscent of a modern restaurant, crossed with a traditional dining hall, just smaller. OK, first of all, that's awful. You just spent a looong paragraph describing a tuxedo and clothes fitting but you can't describe a dining room? Either describe the room or don't. An "exquisite dining room" is fine. Or I'll cook something for you (hehe) Moving on, Charlie meets his host. Again, there is no mention of why this guy is such a big shot and no description of what Charlie was researching that was so fascinating. And yet he has Charlie "shrinking in his seat" in intimidation. Again, things are glossed over and things are not clear. Then Charlie is forced to sign a contract that he does not understand nor is it clear what it wants to the audience. He waits for a pen but then has to use a quill and is surprised, so more is he a Muggle or not, confusion. Frankly, if there's not clear intent on what this contract is needed for, this entire paragraph could be cut. The next bit has Charlie introduced to magic which he has never heard of and therefore, again, Muggle? Muggle raised? He has no wand which he should have gotten at age 11. The rest of the story has Charlie being victimized and transformed by magic. Fair enough. He does not defend himself and he is not given a wand to do so but even so, wouldn't a competent wizard have a few potions up his sleeve to defend himself. But nope, Charlie is screwed over, fitted in servant's clothes and K.O ed. The only training he is to receive seems to be transformed into one of those butler boys despite being lured there to discuss his findings in (X) thanks to his PHD in (fill in blank here) There is no mind control. There is no hypnosis or induction. There isn't even a unforgivable curse (the mind control one) This didn't seem to be a important theme in the set up or story. Otherwise a good piece of suit and tie porn Grammar Nazi alert: There are a few places where the tense shifts back to 3rd person, Charlie sat... Charlie said... etc