Recent Comments

7/17/20, 10:43 AM
are you okay?
7/17/20, 10:17 AM
>if you take the 4th bag is that the mind that makes all these fantastic stories would be gone > Yeah, but think of my video legacy!
7/17/20, 10:05 AM
> I keep forgetting how fast this story is progressing. It’s only been a few days... > I think the entire 26 chapters take place over six days (with a "look ahead" at the end). Honestly, I didn't realize that till after I'd written it and did the math. It does move swiftly. > Hoping there’s a killer description of Rook’s new look next time we see him. > We will see Rook soon and you'll have to tell me if you think I did okay...
Anonymous
7/17/20, 8:05 AM
so hot great idea!
Anonymous
7/17/20, 7:49 AM
turning guys into emotionless zombies is always a turn on especially when its world domination
7/17/20, 7:22 AM
I had the suspicion that captain Drew might already be controlled by the cookoos when he and Dr.Stone arrived by the milking scene kinda threw me off that track because he seemed generally surprised. In the end he was in on it the whole time? Maybe he just cant remember participating in the milking? Anyway,great story,strong premise. I liked it although it was a bit short and rushed for my taste
Johnthedoe
7/17/20, 6:57 AM
Yeah it is. The original intro gave more introduction to each of the characters present and made it more obvious the perspective was shifting at each break but it got cut when I was trying (and failing) to condense this monster to fit in under 10k words as per the rules of the challenge. The characters also each had longer sections for each of them and hinted a bit more at who was going next before everything got condensed and confusing. Once I start expanding it back over the multiple chapters it should have had to start with there will be fewer per chapter which should help keep what's happening straight. The idea really couldn't work on such a tight word budget and I wish I caught on soon enough to replace it as my entry with something smaller.
7/17/20, 6:52 AM
This is perhaps late on my part, but I'd like to vote Roger and Phil. It's the one from the start, and it's the one that Roger started out with. It doesn't really make sense to me for this series to have Roger swap love interests when we have so many hits that Phil is coming around to loving Roger. Really like how the story is going overall though, great work dude.
7/17/20, 6:47 AM
basically non-Christian TF stories here, no one complains.. but apparently this one is a problem? there is even a story of "missionaries eies" what get converted to what they are not.
7/17/20, 6:45 AM
I am surprised no one said the same about it being discriminating on Christians ans to non-Christian Transformation kind of Hypocrisy for it only to be said on Mormons, when any other religion there is no complains... just saying