Recent Comments

7/7/20, 2:51 PM
This chapter, like the entire series, definitely pushes my buttons. I especially liked the conversion of Todd as Master Mike's new son. Thanks for continuing the series.
7/7/20, 2:11 PM
Good story, but I would have liked to see more of Hunter's transformation. But it was a really great story :D
7/7/20, 1:41 PM
I've got no problem with the story, which I thought was a hot and fun bite-size piece of erotica. But I do think the contest needed to provide a clearer definition of what a "Supernatural" story entails. To me, this story falls into the category of "weird fiction," which straddles the line between sci-fi and supernatural fantasy. Some details, like the mountain opening up and men being entranced by incantations in a strange language, are more typical of the supernatural fantasy genre; however, we also get details about the biology of these cum-eating alien parasites, which takes us into the realm of sci-fi.
7/7/20, 1:30 PM
😭😭😭 I want a big buff boyfriend that I can casually jerk off,too. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I love this story more than I thought I would. Kinda sad thats it's over soon
EntrancedGay92
7/7/20, 1:03 PM
Once again I am stepping in because it seems Conversion and New Guy don't know how to open a dictionary. Supernatual is defined as "(of a manifestation or event) attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature". I don't see any mention of anything remotely related to hell on earth. Educate yourself before you speak. I swear the men in this community are becoming more and more unbearable each day.
LthrBikerThug
7/7/20, 12:37 PM
This was a great story and very hot but I feel I have to mention the transformation of Hunter was rushed rather badly. I would have liked to see what caused the full transformation and a true description of Daddy Hunt as well. Overall still a really nice story though and I look forward to your future works!
7/7/20, 12:25 PM
> This is my first time through this story, and I’m loving some of the deconstruction stuff you’re doing. > Thank you! One of my favorite musicals is URINETOWN, which is one of the best deconstructed shows I've ever seen. ("Whoa, whoa there, Little Sally, not all at once. We'll hear more about the water shortage in the next scene... nothing can kill a show like too much exposition...") I hadn't read APOLLYON in a few years, but when I went through it last week to decide if I should post it here, I was pretty pleased with it, especially, as you note, the deconstructive undertone. Ir shows us that Strong is smart and knows what's happening to him -- he wants to believe it's true, but he's a little afraid of it, too. His "I suppose I should expect this next" attitude gives the piece a gentle sense of humor. It works.
nycboot
7/7/20, 11:05 AM
Lots of fun! And thanks for the really cute ending!
7/7/20, 9:57 AM
Very hot story, as usual! I think it works best when you show the interactions between the various slaves. Coach Sampson persuading his son by saying, "Be a good jock and conform" was probably the erotic high-point for me. On the other hand, we probably get a few too many scenes of Master Mike calling out orders and his slaves immediately obeying. A bit of that is fine but, for me, it starts to feel repetitive over the course of a 10000 word chapter.
7/7/20, 9:50 AM
Thank you for the feedback. I did rush a bit through the sex scene, hopefully the next one feels more organic. Yeah, the dialogue is choppy, and it formats a bit different from the writing part to the published part, for the next one I'm going to try a different approach and if it works better I'll update this one. 😊