Recent Comments

7/5/20, 9:11 PM
Rook seems like a cool guy. At 5 or so pounds less than Strong... that means he started around 195. Fuck, he thinks that's skinny.
Jul 5, 2020
7/5/20, 9:05 PM
It was a nice and interesting story. As mattersonline mentioned, the end felt kinda rushed, but the rest of the story is cool (I was also able to check some of your tumblr stories, and I liked them). As a fan of cigar and smoke stories myself, it's always great to meet others with the same interests. Keep writing and stay safe :D
Jul 5, 2020
7/5/20, 8:33 PM
Thanks everyone. Appreciate the support and critique. I would agree with you mattersonline. That is something I will have to work on when posting here, considering my method of using images to inspire the storyline and push the narrative. I can depend on those for too much to fill in the blanks. I can definitely take a little more time to flesh things out. Also, thank you Martin for giving us a space to explore and share.
DaddyLover
7/5/20, 8:04 PM
@Udems, I do agree that the memory restoring scene could've used a few more words and paragraphs and maybe get more insight inside Roger's mind as he got to this decision. As for him being out of character for crying and coming to this decision, I strongly disagree on that point. It's been clearly established that Roger was falling for Mr. Kent for several chapters now and I don't think he's a bad person at heart so it was only natural for him for feeling guilty about taking advantage of him. I don't know if you've also ever been rejected by a guy you've liked before but I thought Jo really nailed that one in the head because I really related to it, especially when Roger was with Mike and all he wanted was just to cry.
7/5/20, 7:31 PM
> it seems like some are discovering this for the first time as you post the parts > It's true, which I think is kind of cool. I mean, I wrote this sixteen years ago and it still reads fresh. > I just want to say that the end of the series definitely gave me my fetish for the look I’ve had for a few years, re: Strong. > I really want to hear all about that.
7/5/20, 7:17 PM
I don't want to ruin things for other people because it seems like some are discovering this for the first time as you post the parts, but I just want to say that the end of the series definitely gave me my fetish for the look I've had for a few years, re: Strong.
Turnadot69
7/5/20, 6:48 PM
seriously hot, I get the feeling like the author is hot asf. cause the story certainly is 😏
Turnadot69
7/5/20, 6:46 PM
good old fashioned family bonding 😋
Bimarguy
7/5/20, 6:28 PM
good one here , whoever you are that wrote it . it would be good to see what happens if Ben invites his buds over . i wish i could write because a story like this can turn in strange ways hehe
Jul 5, 2020
7/5/20, 6:26 PM
As far as genuine writing critiques go, I have one. The end felt rushed. There was no push and pull in motivation. Your main character just immediately accepted his new reality. Which, at least for me, ruins the story because your character doesn’t feel human anymore or at least feels like two different people. Plus I love the physical and mental descriptions of change and transformation. I really enjoyed the descriptions before and after the change. It’s very colorful and easy to envision your characters and motivations and that’s hard to do right but I just wished you spent more time on the change itself.