Recent Comments

Turnadot69
7/5/20, 6:46 PM
good old fashioned family bonding 😋
Bimarguy
7/5/20, 6:28 PM
good one here , whoever you are that wrote it . it would be good to see what happens if Ben invites his buds over . i wish i could write because a story like this can turn in strange ways hehe
Jul 5, 2020
7/5/20, 6:26 PM
As far as genuine writing critiques go, I have one. The end felt rushed. There was no push and pull in motivation. Your main character just immediately accepted his new reality. Which, at least for me, ruins the story because your character doesn’t feel human anymore or at least feels like two different people. Plus I love the physical and mental descriptions of change and transformation. I really enjoyed the descriptions before and after the change. It’s very colorful and easy to envision your characters and motivations and that’s hard to do right but I just wished you spent more time on the change itself.
Jul 5, 2020
Martin
7/5/20, 6:13 PM
I agree that the first poster's critique about the cigar and masculinity theme is rather unwarranted and strange in the context of this site, as practically all stories contain themes that are not acceptable or even illegal and abusing if they'd happen for real. But also, that doesn't warrant to tell him to piss off! Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but please keep it civil and keep in mind that the author wrote and published his story to give pleasure to the readers - that always warrants some respect and appreciation. Please keep that in mind when criticizing a story.
7/5/20, 5:43 PM
it seems like things will be too much for Reggie to handle soon. shame,really. Sid got what he wanted -an impressive transformation btw,he made a business out of this- but it'll cost him his friendship. kinda sad
Jul 5, 2020
7/5/20, 5:27 PM
Christ. Imagine being the person who critiques fantasies for being unrealistic and stories for having themes they don't enjoy when these themes are very clearly tagged. Might as well complain, "Where are the women in these stories? Misogyny is a real problem!" Keep writiing, Nolecub. I appreciate you putting yourself out there.
Jul 5, 2020
7/5/20, 4:54 PM
Valid critiques on my writing style. As noted, I'm new and will continue to learn. However, as you identified, it's a specific fetish and fantasy. Sorry it wasn't your "thing". Obviously, it's not medically possible. As a new author trying, it is a bit disheartening the be tipping point for your disdain when there is a well established history of this kind of work on this site. You are making a lot of assumptions about myself and others with this diatribe, so I suggest using the tags to determine stories that will not trigger you in the future. It's just a story...again, a fantasy...and a way for me to deal with the stress of the pandemic. I don't want to get into a back and forth, so please know that I heard you, respect your opinion, wish you well, and either find your niche here or choose to contribute, as well. Stay safe.
Jul 5, 2020
7/5/20, 4:32 PM
To the first commenter, piss off. Tags are there for a reason, dont like it? Move onto the next story. Meanwhile, I just rubbed out a massive load reading this story, smokin a fat cigar. Guess what? It felt good.
Feb 22, 2014
Anonymous
7/5/20, 4:25 PM
How many times can we read the same hypnosis story; "unaware, dumbing down, such a good boy". But you've made this fresh. Very well done!!!
7/5/20, 3:54 PM
Thank you. I was hoping to have Chapter 2 up today, but my work had gotten erased. I'll have the next part up shortly, I hope.