Recent Comments

6/12/20, 3:30 PM
Thanks for the nice comments y'all! I've lurked for a couple years, and I was real nervous when I posted it, but you all seem to like it, so Imma keep this story going.
z
6/12/20, 1:52 PM
Always a pleasure reading your stories. Love the raunchiness, can't wait for part 2!
Anonymous
6/12/20, 1:17 PM
*misspell* not *mispell*
6/12/20, 12:23 PM
An awesome, well written beginning to this story! I look forward to more.
Jun 11, 2020
6/12/20, 11:32 AM
Why is this categorized as hypnosis?
Anonymous
6/12/20, 10:09 AM
so hot!!! can't wait for more
6/12/20, 8:44 AM
Love where this is going! Hope there's another part on the way?
6/12/20, 7:56 AM
Heyyyy man, awesome first chapter! Love how you set up the 'reality change' parts. And li'l Ace being so vulnerable and trapped in himself, you can tell he's in for a wild ride. New writers here are always great, and you seem to be *exactly* my style haha
6/12/20, 7:24 AM
preferred it when Colin was in charge
Anonymous
6/12/20, 6:57 AM
This almost read like a stream-of-conscious mess generated by an AI, especially the first half. I felt like there was a good idea in here, particularly in the final scene. But that good idea got totally buried by a lack of any interest in doing the work it takes to share and write this as a proper story -- one that others can read and enjoy. Sure, this submission has a lot of grammar and punctuation and spelling errors... but also, events just happen randomly and *don't make sense*. Why is a straight guy jacking off to women while also shoving a pink dildo up his ass? Why is there suddenly a hypnosis app on his phone that he uses to make some guy dominate him (but it never occurs to him to use it on the women he lusts after)? Why does an entire store of people just watch this public sex thing happen with no comment or reaction? This just didn't feel like a followable narrative -- meaning, it did not feel like something that had been crafted, and edited, and written with the enjoyment of other readers in mind. Personally, I can't help but interpret this submission as you being pretty lazy, and kinda disrespectful to the readers of this site. Not only didn't you bother to title this submission properly, or give it a real summary... you also managed to misspell your placeholder title. (If you submit something that you titled "Thing" because you couldn't think of a title for your "thing"... and you still manage to misspell the word "thing"... then it kinda makes it hard to give you the benefit of the doubt.)