Recent Comments

May 30, 2020
5/31/20, 5:39 PM
wow! good start, can't wait for the next chapter.
KKA
5/31/20, 4:56 PM
this reads so much like a Bara by Itto Mentaiko ! A very well crafted story!
5/31/20, 4:23 PM
Medetashi, medetashi. Thank you for creating a wonderful story set in Japan. It was truly an enjoyable experience.
5/31/20, 4:21 PM
Chad, as to Bolin, I like Bolin generally (even though I myself am a waterbender *ie* I practice taiji); he has the spirit of playfulness and innocence that Aang had in the first series. I liked that story line too. One of the reasons that picture is on my profile is that he's controlled in that part of the story. Plus he's in uniform as well. It's also my image on Discord so another reason why Bolin is there. That storyline makes me want to write a story set in Republic City or maybe Ba Sing Se whether the Dai Li are still doing their techniques; it's on the long list of ideas for writing, whether I'll actually do it only time can tell.
5/31/20, 4:18 PM
Super hot!
Swizzington
5/31/20, 3:25 PM
Glad to see people recognizing the easter egg! Yeah I think if I were to write a story of similar length in future, I probably would break it up into 2-3 chapters. To be honest, I only intended for this story to be a short, one chapter thing. But it just kept growing and growing... :-)
Anonymous
5/31/20, 12:22 PM
Shorter paragraphs improve readability and help clarify actions: who is saying or doing something.
nycboot
5/31/20, 12:05 PM
Thanks for this story! I first read the uncensored version and then this version, and I like this version significantly more. I find all the violence and gore a distraction from the narrative. Although violence for its own sake is not my thing, I can definitely understand how it can be a turn on. As I commented at the end of chapter 1, I love the idea of a guy discovering he's a demon and trying to wrestle and understand himself and his urges. But then that aspect of the story gets replaced by a demon trying but unable to satisfy himself - it's like it starts one way and then morphs into another story. In other words, it seems like two different stories spliced together. Your uncensored version has a kind of repeating ending (much more than here) which was very atmospherically haunting, reminding me of the 1946 film "Dead of Night." I suppose you wanted to leave the reader in a mood like Hugh, always wanting more but never achieving it. I wonder if you might consider creating a different Hugh story where it's established from the outset that he's a twisted demon, but then tries to search for more and actually finds it. (Personally I would like to play around with the notion of a guy discovering and coming to grips with being a demon - I think that's probably too tame for your taste.) Again thanks for this story - I won't say it's my favorite, but it really makes a strong impression and sticks in the mind.
5/31/20, 11:56 AM
I Love This, Thank You
Apr 22, 2020
5/31/20, 11:49 AM
This IS what I want!