Recent Comments

Swizzington
5/31/20, 3:25 PM
Glad to see people recognizing the easter egg! Yeah I think if I were to write a story of similar length in future, I probably would break it up into 2-3 chapters. To be honest, I only intended for this story to be a short, one chapter thing. But it just kept growing and growing... :-)
Anonymous
5/31/20, 12:22 PM
Shorter paragraphs improve readability and help clarify actions: who is saying or doing something.
nycboot
5/31/20, 12:05 PM
Thanks for this story! I first read the uncensored version and then this version, and I like this version significantly more. I find all the violence and gore a distraction from the narrative. Although violence for its own sake is not my thing, I can definitely understand how it can be a turn on. As I commented at the end of chapter 1, I love the idea of a guy discovering he's a demon and trying to wrestle and understand himself and his urges. But then that aspect of the story gets replaced by a demon trying but unable to satisfy himself - it's like it starts one way and then morphs into another story. In other words, it seems like two different stories spliced together. Your uncensored version has a kind of repeating ending (much more than here) which was very atmospherically haunting, reminding me of the 1946 film "Dead of Night." I suppose you wanted to leave the reader in a mood like Hugh, always wanting more but never achieving it. I wonder if you might consider creating a different Hugh story where it's established from the outset that he's a twisted demon, but then tries to search for more and actually finds it. (Personally I would like to play around with the notion of a guy discovering and coming to grips with being a demon - I think that's probably too tame for your taste.) Again thanks for this story - I won't say it's my favorite, but it really makes a strong impression and sticks in the mind.
5/31/20, 11:56 AM
I Love This, Thank You
Apr 22, 2020
5/31/20, 11:49 AM
This IS what I want!
Anonymous
5/31/20, 11:28 AM
wowwowwow!!
5/31/20, 9:42 AM
Yeah, probably better in multiple chapter, I had a hard time not leaving the story. Honestly, I'm too used to the twist in others of your stories, but the fact that I could guess by the first half almost everything that would happen was a bit of a letdown. Did love the good boy handbook cameo!
5/31/20, 9:32 AM
This is truly an excellent story for a new writer and I am enjoying it immensely. My only critique is that a few paragraphs here and there would help tremendously instead of it seeming to all be smushed together. Overall, it is fantastic and I would change anything except for making it a few paragraph changes. Just my opinion.
Tom
5/31/20, 8:03 AM
Amazing!!! Love the mention of ethan and toby, such a good little easter egg! Your work really is amazing
5/31/20, 6:39 AM
Yes! Later today, if everything goes well. Sorry for the wait!