Recent Comments

5/9/20, 12:09 AM
"How is this going from a female cat person on her way to die to an erotic gay male story" I thought. But there it was and I understand the need for the euthanasia beginning. Interesting idea and very well written.
5/8/20, 10:22 PM
Oh, DAMN. This was incredible! The description of the hypnosis and muscle growth in particular were achingly hot. Thank you!
5/8/20, 10:11 PM
Kyle Chu: I think it is a little silly to say that Lane has shown no initiative. He began the story by deciding, without any input, to go undercover as a student. He showed his curiosity and journalistic instincts (going for the big scoop, quickly making decisions on the fly) in the first workshop scene, when he stole the glasses and eavesdropped on the conversation between Drew and Chester. Then, during his first few scenes interacting with drones, he demonstrated skill as an improviser/liar to gather information. This all establishes him as a character type we recognize: the Plucky Journalist. And his journalistic instincts are clearly a threat to Todd--the dictator himself says "If this gets out, I'm fucked." I agree that the glasses protecting Lane makes him more of a passive individual for a time, but I would argue that that is what makes it a thrilling story. Unlike super-genius Chester (who it sounds like you wanted to be the main character, ha ha) or the telepathic family, Lane is literally just an average guy who found himself in the middle of a nightmare. His being little more than a pawn in the game between Todd and Chester is part of the excitement, and helps to create the world of the story (Todd as the mastermind who pulls all the strings, and one tiny loose end--a reporter who stumbled upon the truth--as his only opponent). I don't know if you're a comic book fan, but it kind of reminds me of "Green Lantern." Hal Jordan (the second Lantern) is kind of thrust into the world of superheroes by accident--a dying alien does a quick scan to find a pure-hearted human, Hal is the closest one he can find, so he hands him the Ring and wishes him well. And even beyond that, the notion of an ordinary person being swept up in events far beyond anything they expected is a theme across lots of stories: Odysseus in "The Odyssey," John McClane in "Die Hard," Nancy in "A Nightmare on Elm Street," Harry in the first "Harry Potter" book, Sarah Conner in "Terminator"--all terrified people doing the best they can against otherworldly, super-powered, or far better-equipped individuals. I don't know about you, but I kind of like that sort of story best. We can imagine ourselves as the intrepid hero that way; a little luck (like the special glasses) protects us, and we have to figure the rest out on our own. I hope that all makes sense! :)
Anonymous
5/8/20, 9:49 PM
really great want to see how it progresses
5/8/20, 9:35 PM
There's an air of sophistication in this story; dropping Satie and Schumann is very interesting. I like it.
5/8/20, 9:23 PM
Interesting story. If you continue it, I will gladly read it :) Keep up more cigar smoking avengers ;)
5/8/20, 9:23 PM
Not only can you write Marvel hypno-fiction, you can write Lovecraft theme fiction as well. Man, I'm feeling a bit guilty for asking for the Symbiote to make my story.
5/8/20, 9:13 PM
First Spiderman and now Captain American and the Winter Soldier (+ Iron Man); your talent seems to know no bounds.
5/8/20, 9:08 PM
Welcome back, and what a comeback you have among three stories!!!
5/8/20, 8:47 PM
Bro, need more bro stories, bro!