Recent Comments

Cocksucker3000
5/7/20, 1:13 PM
As someone who's fucking obssessed with sucking dick, this satisfyied me, Well done!
5/7/20, 1:10 PM
so hot!!! Loved it all from the concept of an older daddy taking over an innocent boy to the body worship and piss drinking, please write some more this is a great start :)
Tass
5/7/20, 12:24 PM
like it a lot. change him some more, perhaps a crazy haircut, tattoos and piercings to go with the new look
5/7/20, 11:39 AM
Great start. Eager for more.
5/7/20, 11:39 AM
This is a really good starting point though a bit short. I personally seek out these kinds of stories. Will there be any continuity?
5/7/20, 11:26 AM
loved the story! would love for you to write more where the subject was aware of the changes like with alex
5/7/20, 9:49 AM
Hottest chapter of the series!!
5/7/20, 8:48 AM
The story is hot and, although the idea is not that original, I liked it. However - it would be much better if your sentences were a lot shorter. Having too many ideas in one sentence confuses the reader and makes it hard to follow the story. Let's take your first sentence. This has nine ideas in it! 1. You are normal. 2. Boring. 3. A human. 4. A loner. 5. You got made fun of. 6. You are a 'rubberist'. 7. You wear rubber. 8. Your clothing choice is the reason you are a loner. 9. One night everything changed. It's really difficult for readers to take in more than two or three ideas per sentence. So, I suggest you break things up a little by using more full stops.
5/7/20, 8:33 AM
I really loved the "call-and-response" scene towards the end with the new recruits. I felt like there were a couple of points where you got a little too caught up in the homage to Talmak's story, like that whole exchange about whether the BDU cost $45 or $60.
Anonymous
5/7/20, 8:10 AM
Awesome story! And i second Elm's comment, this site needs more Orcs