Recent Comments

5/6/20, 6:18 PM
i rarely comment but these two chapters were amazing! Great job!
5/6/20, 5:52 PM
This is so good! πŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ
Anonymous
5/6/20, 4:59 PM
this is really interesting! I genuinely am not sure what theyre doing to the protagonist and cant wait to find out. loving this series
FoxPup
5/6/20, 4:58 PM
Such a hot story! What a shame if it were to go to waste :(
5/6/20, 4:14 PM
The Saga continues in the Sequel "The Follow up" at [ https://www.gayspiralstories.com/newStory/show/1448787](https://www.gayspiralstories.com/newStory/show/1448787)
Anonymous
5/6/20, 3:58 PM
Please make more this is amazing
5/6/20, 3:37 PM
This is such a gratifying story. I loved the way the changes were done and we don't know more than that the mystery makes it so much more sexy.
5/6/20, 3:27 PM
I completely understand that concern, New Guy. I wanted to leave this part as more of an opening (a rather long one, haha). The next part will address some of the "incomplete" story elements here to make this story seem a bit more fleshed out. I agree that the pacing could have been slower, and will work on that for future installments. Thanks for the critiques!
5/6/20, 3:22 PM
Thank you both for your comments! Firstly, thanks for sticking it out and reading the whole piece; I really appreciate it. Secondly, I'll definitely take what you guys said into account when creating the next part. Some story elements were left vague here to be addressed in future installments, which might make things certain things seem rushed in this part. I'll take all of your critiques into account when crafting the second part. Thanks again and stay tuned!
5/6/20, 3:16 PM
I have to agree with Ken; I generally like the story but there is no real struggle on Jake and Jon's part. It's more important on Jon's part as there is a betrayal between Damien and Jon as the friends are now trying to mind control the other. It would be better to play it out and have the shock on Jon's part as he discovers that his friend has betrayed his trust as he falls under Damien's control. But please continue writing; I look forward to seeing where you take the story.