Recent Comments

5/6/20, 3:22 PM
Thank you both for your comments! Firstly, thanks for sticking it out and reading the whole piece; I really appreciate it. Secondly, I'll definitely take what you guys said into account when creating the next part. Some story elements were left vague here to be addressed in future installments, which might make things certain things seem rushed in this part. I'll take all of your critiques into account when crafting the second part. Thanks again and stay tuned!
5/6/20, 3:16 PM
I have to agree with Ken; I generally like the story but there is no real struggle on Jake and Jon's part. It's more important on Jon's part as there is a betrayal between Damien and Jon as the friends are now trying to mind control the other. It would be better to play it out and have the shock on Jon's part as he discovers that his friend has betrayed his trust as he falls under Damien's control. But please continue writing; I look forward to seeing where you take the story.
5/6/20, 1:58 PM
Thanks for the comments and reviews! I really appreciate it. It encourages me to to continue writing. The next part of will be published as a sequel to this story under another name. Most likely "The Follow Up." Once it is approved and published I will add the link here as well!
5/6/20, 1:52 PM
Hey letstrythis great story but I think you may have added the next part wrong as I cant seem to find it :)
Anonymous
5/6/20, 1:44 PM
Yeah, bro, don't stop. Great series!
Anonymous
5/6/20, 1:35 PM
Great story!!! Loved it!!!
Anonymous
5/6/20, 1:34 PM
I'm just glad villains are winning. I'm so tired of sugar-coated endings.
5/6/20, 12:31 PM
i liked your story and hope you continue it. I like the idea from above about Noah eating James ass.
Jake
5/6/20, 12:23 PM
Thanks, I have been working on the next chapters as well as a few 3d images to insert to give a bit of a visual aid.
Dave Dastard
5/6/20, 12:14 PM
great work! love the subservience (the bowing and so forth). also love the foot worship. your story is very hot and a lot of fun. cant wait to read more, where I hope there's more sweaty foot action and lots of humiliation.