Recent Comments

Anonymous
5/4/20, 11:04 PM
lol i think im the only one on team todd. i didnt have a problem with his reign continuing however i do think you need to keep it creative as to how you mindcontrol new slaves. im not sure why you would say you dont feel like you can write sex stuff as you seemed to do a great job in the first series. the key i believe to an effective mindscape scene is using their fears or pride against them. the teacher turned into a sniveling student. the cocky brother turned into a chained up aware slave. these are what makes the scenes hot. take your time with them make sure the boys understand their fate but are unable to stop it. anyway looking forward to whatever you dream up next
5/4/20, 9:12 PM
I'm rooting for you and your story as a fellow up and coming writer, hence my comments. Glad I can be of some help.
May 4, 2020
5/4/20, 9:04 PM
It wasn't really a mind control story, more of a body control one. The antagonist was still aware of what he was doing, only powerless against it. Perhaps Nate will perfect the device in the future and gain the ability to change his subjects' thought processes. The Japanese love these square watermelons. They encase growing melons in plastic molds and the melon eventually grows to take up the shape of the mold. If you get my drift. ;)
5/4/20, 8:47 PM
love what your did with the triggers. very hot man cant wait for more parts
Anonymous
5/4/20, 8:28 PM
Awesome chapter. I hope our guy gets a cyborg compensation when the military takes his brother. Thanks for writing !
5/4/20, 8:26 PM
Hmmm that's yet another good point haha. I will think about what I can add to flesh this out a bit. Thank you for your criticism! I love it haha!
5/4/20, 7:49 PM
any sequels or continuations available?
5/4/20, 7:29 PM
Incredible story! Love the strange magic in the air--and, of course, the stupefication and muscle growth. Wooo!
5/4/20, 7:27 PM
Amazing! So happy this came back!
David
5/4/20, 6:58 PM
loved it. More twinning in the future would be very hot.