Your prose is really good and I love your characters! Greg's complicated feelings and Curtis' inability to give him the answers he wants is really, really interesting! Awesome sex scenes, too! Super hot! I can't wait to find out what happens next! Did he transfer ownership of the sponsorship to Curtis? What will happen when Curtis wakes up?!

Makes me want to try home delivery now!

Short and sweet, great story. The sad thing is I live in Melbourne and haven't been the Sanctuary, too close to home I guess!

Well done! Hoping to see more chapters in this one!

I hope there is another chapter! Hot story and well written with great details.

loved this chapter! looking forward to the next. really nice to see this relationship evolving, tho a little apprehensive if the uncle figures out he's being manipulated...

I love your stories so much! They're always so hot 🔥🔥🔥 I can't wait for your next story !

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback! I'm not sure whether I'll do another revision but I'll definitely keep that in mind for the next story I write.

I love the setup of this story! It has a really good idea driving it. I will say, though, that the increasingly-frequent perspective shifts threw me off a little bit. They aren't uncommon, especially in this genre, but I found the narration the reader got was sort of over-omniscient. I think if you were looking to do a bit of a rewrite, it might be a good idea to commit to taking only Josh's perspective. Convey Luke's inner thoughts with outward actions like you did in the first half of the story, all the way throughout. Let Josh speculate on how Luke feels. It seemed like the first time you shifted to Luke's perspective was for him being horny, but that could just as easily be Josh (who was already looking) noticing how big his bulge had gotten and Luke pawing at it absentmindedly. And after that, it seems like the perspective shifts a bit back and forth, sometimes during conversation. I think in this case, you already have a good setup for Josh being the sole perspective that the reader gets to enjoy. It's sort of omniscient (Josh fully knows what's going on, while Luke is clueless about the beer; Josh can see the changes before Luke notices them, etc.) but it grounds the reader within the story's internal logic. Getting "both sides of the story" is more info and it isn't strictly necessary to tell this story. Or give a framing device for the transition. For example, I think it's a GREAT idea to get only Luke's perspective after he wakes up (since he wakes up before Josh). But if you make the reader wait the entire story, then that's the first time we're "in Luke's head" and I think it's a much stronger payoff. Plus the logical transition of going to sleep (whenever that fade-to-black occurs, no judgment) is just icing. And if you want to get meta about it, it's also a bit of closing dramatic irony to have our otherwise omniscient character Josh now be unaware of something we the readers get to know. I hope this comes across as honest feedback. I by no means consider myself an expert, but I really enjoyed your writing, especially in the details. It seemed like you were excited by those descriptions, and it came across well. I just think a single perspective would help unify this story more and give you a stronger framework for how you word your descriptions and where you put your focus in those descriptions.

Sometimes I like a good pool toy tf for the forced denial, but this was definitely the best of both worlds!