loved this chapter! looking forward to the next. really nice to see this relationship evolving, tho a little apprehensive if the uncle figures out he's being manipulated...

I love your stories so much! They're always so hot 🔥🔥🔥 I can't wait for your next story !

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback! I'm not sure whether I'll do another revision but I'll definitely keep that in mind for the next story I write.

I love the setup of this story! It has a really good idea driving it. I will say, though, that the increasingly-frequent perspective shifts threw me off a little bit. They aren't uncommon, especially in this genre, but I found the narration the reader got was sort of over-omniscient. I think if you were looking to do a bit of a rewrite, it might be a good idea to commit to taking only Josh's perspective. Convey Luke's inner thoughts with outward actions like you did in the first half of the story, all the way throughout. Let Josh speculate on how Luke feels. It seemed like the first time you shifted to Luke's perspective was for him being horny, but that could just as easily be Josh (who was already looking) noticing how big his bulge had gotten and Luke pawing at it absentmindedly. And after that, it seems like the perspective shifts a bit back and forth, sometimes during conversation. I think in this case, you already have a good setup for Josh being the sole perspective that the reader gets to enjoy. It's sort of omniscient (Josh fully knows what's going on, while Luke is clueless about the beer; Josh can see the changes before Luke notices them, etc.) but it grounds the reader within the story's internal logic. Getting "both sides of the story" is more info and it isn't strictly necessary to tell this story. Or give a framing device for the transition. For example, I think it's a GREAT idea to get only Luke's perspective after he wakes up (since he wakes up before Josh). But if you make the reader wait the entire story, then that's the first time we're "in Luke's head" and I think it's a much stronger payoff. Plus the logical transition of going to sleep (whenever that fade-to-black occurs, no judgment) is just icing. And if you want to get meta about it, it's also a bit of closing dramatic irony to have our otherwise omniscient character Josh now be unaware of something we the readers get to know. I hope this comes across as honest feedback. I by no means consider myself an expert, but I really enjoyed your writing, especially in the details. It seemed like you were excited by those descriptions, and it came across well. I just think a single perspective would help unify this story more and give you a stronger framework for how you word your descriptions and where you put your focus in those descriptions.

Sometimes I like a good pool toy tf for the forced denial, but this was definitely the best of both worlds!

what great writing! I'm new to site and could not stop reading each chapter, jerking off early and wanting to do it again multiple times. it has always been a fantasy of mine to be under someone's control like Jason is. keep writing!

Rich, mindless, and a controlled slave. Who wouldn't want to be David

Awesome story Hypno..fucking HOT. Loved the stepped integration into slavedom. This is the first one of yours I've read..can't wait to get to the others.

What a hot story! Amazing. I could have done without the pain. It seemed pointless, especially since you put so much stress on it, like it had some purpose. It's a pity that his conscious is snuffed out. And *if* you assimilate his personality completely, I'd like to read and experience that (it can be hot in itself, even though it's a way of dying really), but as you've written it, he's just "turned off" like that without any impact on the reader. But, as others have written, there's a lot of potential for a continuation!

Both hot and heartwarming! Would love to see more!