Recent Comments

4/9/20, 6:18 AM
Amazing Story! Loved it!
4/9/20, 5:47 AM
But he's such a cartoonish villain that complaining about the implausibility of his schemes is like complaining that cartoon characters shouldn't really survive when an anvil falls on their heads. It's true, but it's missing the point of the genre.
4/9/20, 5:39 AM
will you be making anymore chapters?
4/9/20, 5:35 AM
Hypnothrill, thank you for the explanation; I'm always learning something from you one way or another. I can see what you mean by the Bond villain, but that kinda fits into my comment that as a villain he's drawing too much attention and too quick to share his plans.
4/9/20, 5:34 AM
I can't wait to see a hundred more acts of this! Where can I buy tix to this kind of show? Haha.
4/9/20, 5:22 AM
I love where this story is going! Keep it up!
4/9/20, 4:57 AM
New Guy in Town, I had no problem with the unrealistic detail of Dr. Leach sharing footage of the men he mind controlled. This is a way the story lets us know early on what kind of genre it is, and it's definitely not realism. The dude's basically a Bond villain, and his plan to get revenge on Mike is ludicrously Byzantine. I'm more bothered by the fact that, like a Bond villain, Dr. Leach feels compelled to share every part of his evil plan with us in great detail in his dialog. That means that the hot part of the story--actually seeing Mike's mind be reprogrammed--is preempted by the doctor telling us in advance exactly what's going to happen to Mike's mind. A lot of writers on this site do this--telling, not showing, through the speech of a mind controller who sounds like he's giving an engineering lecture--and it drives me up the wall.
Anonymous
4/9/20, 4:35 AM
I loved this! Really looking forward to the next chapter. You are awesome!
4/9/20, 4:28 AM
Hot as always. Would be hot to have a story with hairy dad face sitting on son and being a power bottom
Anonymous
4/9/20, 3:36 AM
Touch the water, Charlie!