Recent Comments

Anonymous
4/8/20, 9:23 AM
awesome. lived something similar w a german roomie in college
Anonymous
4/8/20, 9:08 AM
I loved this so much! so hot! I can not wait to see what happens next. Please stay safe with everything going on too. I love your stories, but your health is more important. I really can't wait for the next part
4/8/20, 7:27 AM
Amazing as always! So fucking hot! Can't wait to see what kind of misadventures Zach is going to get into next!! Please continue and don't take too long to post!
boi98229
4/8/20, 7:17 AM
Scents can be incredibly seductive! Hot story! Thanks so much.
4/8/20, 6:26 AM
Great detail. I enjoyed the set up and the idea of a cosmic deity being involved. I throughly enjoyed the build up and setting up the stage. I don't mind a long story if it builds and adds and you did. I got hooked so now I'm waiting for the next portions. Good story teller
4/8/20, 6:22 AM
great story looking forward to the next chapter... love the whole idea....
boi98229
4/8/20, 5:49 AM
Hey! Thanks for this really hot story! i love mind control and seduction stories, so found these components really compelling. The one thing that might have added to the effect of the story for me is additional detail about how the altered reality came about. Did Jake actually spike the extra beer on the way home? What more exactly are Jake's intent and special powers if any? What exactly is Jake's plan for his new chav bro? In fact the story had enough that i am happy to suspend reality myself to simply accept the somewhat vague inferences, the plot and outcome. In the end maybe it is just so a hot story that i would love it to be longer and more of the same somehow!!
4/8/20, 5:44 AM
Really enjoyed this conclusion--you excel at writing very masculine sex scenes--and I thought it flowed better than Part 1.
Anonymous
4/8/20, 5:41 AM
Really hot and promising transformation story, hope it develops into more. Honestly it hit all my buttons. Cheers!
4/8/20, 4:21 AM
PupScout, the other technique you might look into is Free Indirect Discourse, where you subtly shift between omniscient 3rd person narration and a recounting of the main character's thoughts. I use this all the time in my own stories. So here's how I would have rewritten one of the passages in your story: "It wasn't until Joe got a good look at his brother's naked body that he realized that something was very wrong here. Mike's cock was an exact clone of Partrok and Robinson's, long with a thick mushroom head that dangled heavily down the middle of his ball sac. But wait, that wasn't right, was it? Didn't Mike have a short, stubby cock? Wasn't his brother always embarrassed by it, changing beneath a towel every time they went to the locker room? But now here he was, striding proudly with that big piece of meat swinging between his legs like he was the cock of the walk. What was happening? Joe tried to figure it out, but his head felt so fuzzy. It was better not to think. Better just to stand at attention and stare ahead at his naked superiors with their big swinging cocks."