Recent Comments

Apr 2, 2020
4/4/20, 9:47 PM
This is an amazing story and I'm flattered and honored to have inspired it. I hope to see more from you.
Jack
4/4/20, 9:43 PM
love it!
Anonymous
4/4/20, 9:33 PM
Damn, that's good. At first I hoped that the product you were offering for sale was a trip to Kingsbury....But more stories are always a good option! :)
Hypnominion
4/4/20, 8:20 PM
I agree about the back half; a more in-depth transition ...even though you had clearly intended for it to go smoother because of the prior exposure was called for...would've made the section of narrative more engaging. Think of it like an action film: each battle becomes more dramatic than the last. This aside, well done.
4/4/20, 7:53 PM
I'm definitely late to the party that is this story, but I think it is amazing. Your work reminds me of Brian Lumley's Necroscope series of books. You do with Mexican mythology what he does with vampire mythology: rework and expand upon certain parts while maintaining the core central issues and themes. You both have a way with creating very altered hideous versions of animals; the corruption of the animals in your story reminded me of the flyers and other creatures the Wamphyri in Lumley's stories create. All and all this is a really unique and fascinating work you've created and I'm glad you're back to working on it. I may have never found it in the archives of stories, but now that I have I've bookmarked it to never lose it again. Please keep working on this story; you have a very devoted fan in me waiting for the next part.
4/4/20, 7:31 PM
I'm a little late to the party, but I have to respond to the Master's (aka Hypnothrill) comment. The story works on the level of myth particularly Aztec or Mayan mythology, so it works on the general level; the characters don't have to be so defined to play the role that they do in the story. I think that characters could be more defined, but doing so runs the risk of losing that mythological connection and making it into a story with mythological tones. It depends on what you as an author want to achieve. I think he's going for that mythological tone, so non-defined characters work.
4/4/20, 6:55 PM
You might have to copy it from Word and then make adjustments; that's how I upload my stories. I generally love where the story is going, but I have to say that this leg felt a bit rushed in pacing. The fast pace definitely worked with the action of Ben breaking into Nick's apartment and grabbing Nick, but the back half definitely felt it could've been a bit slower and had Nick fighting a bit more. But aside from that good story and keep putting the chapters out.
4/4/20, 3:43 PM
Hey guys, please come back! I can't wait to read more! I love this story so much!
Anonymous
4/4/20, 3:13 PM
Great story
4/4/20, 2:52 PM
If anyone can tell me how to format it on here properly, that would be great.