Recent Comments

3/10/20, 7:10 PM
keep going I hope part 3 goes well
nycboot
3/10/20, 6:05 PM
I could be over-thinking things as I often do, but now that I've ready both points of view, I'm wondering maybe Ivan's reticence has to do with Hector's non-affection. Maybe if Hector started showing some TLC to Ivan, Ivan would start developing feelings. Then again, Mind in a Box stated previously this is supposed to be a parody of 1950s sci-fi films where no ever gets personal (and the poor acting in most of those films precludes the idea). Just interested to see where you're gonna take us! :)
nycboot
3/10/20, 4:49 PM
I'm glad I'm reading this story first from Hector's point of view followed by Ivan's POV. That's because it's as if holes left open in Hector's version get fully explained in Ivan's version. But in this chapter Ivan is getting a lot of self-confidence, way too much for a real slave. I keep hoping that Hector stops relying on the Overmind and tries to fix Ivan's slave mind using his own ingenuity, which would (presumably) make the slave identification stick more permanently. And I hope Hector starts arousing Ivan sexually.
nycboot
3/10/20, 4:12 PM
I agree: Upon returning Hector should've given Ivan a few hours in the Overmind. It's funny that in some ways Hector has done the right things, but he sounds a bit inexperienced in how to deal with a slave. Ivan seems to have too much freedom of thought and will to be a true slave. The episode with the policeman was scary and humorous in that it got us (the audience) really wound up that the scheme might be found out, but of course it didn't happen (yet). I'm really curious to see if Ivan remains a straight slave or when Hector starts making him emotionally vulnerable. This episode ends with the slave thinking that Hector is unfair which will only increase Ivan's dislike of him. Hector has to make Ivan love him so that, should the scheme be discovered and Hector sent to jail, Ivan will not think about anything other than freeing Hector.
nycboot
3/10/20, 1:48 PM
I'm looking over the tags and I see #jewelry. Is that a mistake? Jewelry does not play a role in this story.
Anonymous
3/10/20, 10:36 AM
this is an amazing story! Can't wait for more!
3/10/20, 9:57 AM
love to see Danny the punk with a mohawk and the works
Mar 6, 2020
Martin
3/10/20, 9:52 AM
Wonderful story! The conquering and capitulation of Matt's mind was really done perfectly. One request: Please make your paragraphs smaller. And start new paragraphs whenever you start a new direct speech. Makes things much easier to read! Please don't let us wait for too long for the next chapters!
Anonymous
3/10/20, 9:15 AM
Where is the rest of the story?
3/10/20, 6:47 AM
To whomever commented "....Where have I read this story before? This exact one, but somewhere else," I'm an idiot and maybe even an asshole. I was going back and rereading one of Vchris1989's stories called "Goodnight, Son" and realized the part where the dad, possessing the son, looks in the mirror and says that he bets his son loves being possessed, followed by basically what I wrote here. To that commenter, I thought you were referring to the fact that I posted this story earlier, took it down, and reposted it. My apologies for my idiocy, and while I don't think Vchris1989 will read this, I am sorry for the unintentional plagiarism. You were a brilliant writer, a pioneer, and I just wrote what I thought was fun and it turned out to be what you write. I'll edit the story to give you credit where credit is due.