New Fan, and to the others talking about the Nathan/Joe mind scene, I entirely understand your complaint. For me, it just seemed a little too much, given the tone of the rest of the chapter and all the other negative stuff happening. It just seemed like it would be beating a dead horse. Like Dylan, I will use another Star Wars reference (sorry to non-star wars people). I compare it to the scene where Anakin falls to the dark side and assaults the Jedi temple. He walks into the room full of younglings, unsheathes his lightsaber, and walks towards them ominously. In that moment, the audience is faced with the death of pure innocence. You don't need to actually see him slaughter them like cattle. The implication is powerful enough. I felt the same way about that scene with Nathan and Joe. It just seemed like going into heavy detail at that point in the story would be a little overboard. You are, of course, free to disagree :-)

Ah, good. Finally someone mentioned Todd acting out of character towards the end. This was deliberate and something I hoped readers would pick up on. Here is my thinking on that: most male dogs, cats, etc. will act differently after you neuter them. Their temperament changes and, typically, they become a lot more mellow. That's what I was going for here. We saw in chapter 9 how Nathan started to act like a bit of an asshole once he started to use his powers and get the telepathic juices going. Having that amount of power over other people can do strange things to a person. :-) To the person asking about why Chester was able to resist so much while Dylan could not, great question! I would say intelligence is part of it, but really it's a combination of factors. For me, it comes down to the person's innate desire to be free. This is sparked by a number of personality traits: intelligence, ambition, stubbornness, distaste for authority figures, etc. To me, while Dylan clearly hates being controlled by Todd to start with, he is a lazy, laid back individual with no strong principles or convictions to ground him. It takes a lot of will power to resist and he can't summon that. He's simply too "meh" about everything to do so. It is also partly to do with the strength of the telepath and the method of control they use to ensnare the victim. We never saw Chesters enslavement, but it could be the method Todd chose was simply not as effective as some of his later techniques. Similarly, while Shawn' s induction was interesting, it was not particularly overpowering (although, after his initial resistance early on, his conscious mind gives up entirely and he becomes Todd's most fanatical follower). Thank you for your question and thank you to everyone who has contributed to the discussion. Finally, to anyone worried that I will undo everything in the crossover/sequel, fear not! Things may change, and it may move the story forward a little, but Zeiss is no knight in shining armor...

Sadly I do agree with the other guy above, that cutaway when Nathan enslaves Joe's mind was slightly disappointing because Joe trusted him in that moment the free him and instead we missed out on a potentially dramatic scene. I also agree that it sounded like you held back a little when you mentioned that you wanted this ending to have been darker and that was also disappointing. Please give us all you have on the next installment. If you are worried about what your reception will be, know that you have loyal followers (at least with me) supporting you.

they deleted your Tumblr again, how will we see the ending of next part?

Can't wait to hear more

I believe that people expecting a "Good guys win" ending is because the story is not great as a wanking material. People usually do not bother the "Evil guys win" if the story is a pure porn story. This, however, is full of plots and suspenses, that makes others to treat this a fiction. In case of a fiction, most people would want to read something that "Good guys win" as they immerse themselves as the main character. When you are the main character, you usually do not want yourself to lose. Don't get me wrong, this story is quite beautifully written. Thanks the author for posting such a wonderful material for people to discuss on this site. I have long not seen such a large amount of comments that are not criticizing the moral standards or the political views. You have done a very excellent job. It just makes me wonder if the sequel will be more of a "Good guys win" situation.

i would love to have a "where are they now" tour of each slave's brain to see how if the mode of compliance has changed. for instance, what fun way did joey get enslaved by nathan? still with the chess board?

The story in itself is great, undoubtedly. But, how to say it... - as a wanking material, it is sketchy and has a lot of unrealized potential. For example, I really miss an explicit and full of humiliation Todd/Dylan scene.

@RazzTFs - thanks so much! Pacing is always a pain. I usually end up cutting out a ton.

I was so excited for this! until I realized that james was the botttom. I mean, why can't the big strong daddy be the bottom in any of these stories?! it's so frustrating