Recent Comments

nycboot
1/6/20, 10:03 PM
A really well thought-out and well-written ending. And it leaves me feeling incomplete. Given the nature of this website, we all love to indulge in mind control. But to have all characters undergo that without resolution seems artificial to me - an ideological (imposed) ending rather than one that grows naturally out of the characters and their circumstances. It feels unfinished. Like a deus ex machina but going in the opposite direction. As if you're working up to something - and then a bomb goes off and kills everyone so that no true conclusion is reached. Nevertheless, this has been a wonderful experience communicating with you & the others that visit this website. :)
Z
1/6/20, 9:56 PM
Oh wait nvm found it
Z
1/6/20, 9:54 PM
I should've known better than to expect Nathan to win lol. Nevertheless I'm loving this! Also, if you don't mind me asking, what story is The Further Adventures of a Mind Controller a sequel of?
Anonymous
1/6/20, 9:42 PM
I enjoyed the series overall but the ending was quite unsatisfying for me. In my opinion, the story would have been better if you had expanded upon Todd's backstory and what his motivations are. Otherwise, the ending just feels cruel for no reason. I also hope the sequel series includes some resolution for Nathan's feelings towards Joe (assuming that they're not just enslaved forever).
1/6/20, 9:23 PM
I don't think you need to work on the realism of your writing. I think it might just be helpful to be aware that you've got a talent for coming up with these highly stylized fictional universes and exaggerated characters.
LongtimeFan
1/6/20, 9:17 PM
What an ending! I can't say I got what I wanted--I was hoping for something else--but it is still an excellent story, well-written with many twists and turns. :D The final battle proved so many changes, but it all came together nicely. Congratulations on a great story, Swizzington! :D
Anonymous
1/6/20, 9:11 PM
I wont spoil the ending to those just reading, but really well done series! No matter who you were rooting for, Swizz did a great job. You deserve a lot of praise!
Swizzington
1/6/20, 9:10 PM
That's fair, Hypnothrill. Maybe something to work on. I said I was *trying* to be realistic *as possible*. I didn't say I was achieving it ;-)
Anonymous
1/6/20, 9:08 PM
To say I am happy with the ending, that would be an understatement. I don't know if I will continue to the sequel series, then ending to this one was very disappointing. You did what you wanted in the end.
1/6/20, 8:51 PM
I really like your stories, Swizzington, but I'd never describe them as "highly realistic." For one thing, everything about "Cod Cove Academy" (and its strange 13th grade program) seems highly contrived, and the characters are very broad types, who often speak like they came out of a sitcom; goody-goody Joe often sounds like a "Leave it to Beaver" character, while Chester speaks like a typical nerd character from a Saved by the Bell-era sitcom. All of which is just fine, and I think you're doing some interesting things with the genre (including giving your protagonists some very unlikeable traits). But if realism's your main goal, I don't think you're quite achieving it.