Recent Comments

11/4/19, 7:24 AM
Yes, Red Witch is a play on Scarlet Witch because you know, copyright issue :p Thank you joaopomilio, your comments are always appreciated ! Thank you MonsterMash62! you're one of my favourite writer in this site haha @TconJ : Personally for me, i do not plan the story far ahead. I just write a short story whenever i got the inspiration. Maybe it would explain the lack of coherence and plot setting. It's also because this is a community story and anyone can add new chapters. The chapters i added mostly serve as a setting for people to draw inspiration and maybe they would continue from the ideas. I am well aware of my shortcomings, since i'm a relatively new writer, but i will try to improve. Thanks for the advice !
11/4/19, 6:56 AM
That's so true! I totally agree with that. I did plan on giving Bob a back story on how he met Kyle and how he ended up living with them.I got too carried away tho and forgot about it. I'm a big fan of Edlam and how he writes detailed backgrounds about the guy he mind fucks. I'll go disect that and apply it on the second chapter. Thanks for reminding me! I'll make sure to add it on the second chapter. I'm thinking of starting it from where we left. Kyle's "morning" has just started anyway :D Thanks a lot for your awesome feedback!
Anonymous
11/4/19, 6:50 AM
Another chapter please!
11/4/19, 6:48 AM
For a first story, I think this is really well-written. My biggest critique with this story--and it's a problem I have with a lot of stories in this "nerdy gay guy suddenly gets unlimited powers" genre--is that the narrator often seems like a cruel asshole. Essentially, there's no motivation for him to be abusing Bob the way he does. Part of the problem is that we get almost no backstory on Bob, and when we do see Bob interacting with Kyle at the start of the story, he seems perfectly nice and fatherly. If we got a better sense of why Kyle resents and wants to humiliate Bob, the story would work much better IMO.
Lord Alfred Douglas
11/4/19, 3:59 AM
Let's have some more of this one.
11/4/19, 1:41 AM
fun eager to see how goes. sad b is
Anonymous
11/4/19, 1:25 AM
MARVELOUS!!!! Wonderful STORY!!!!!
joaopomilio@hotmail.com
11/4/19, 1:15 AM
Tconj Have a point, regardless of how much I like this chapter
TconJ
11/4/19, 1:13 AM
ok like....I start seeing some writers here do this...really overly convenient plot jump whenever they want to. it's a good chapter...."had you wrote a chapter on how this turn south before this".... Not, I want to write something new so I'm just time jump now and somehow miraculously get to that point I want. It's super cheesy and cliche. It's not just you, but I advice you to have some plot leading up to this otherwise you will have scattering ideas all over and your story collapse.
Apr 11, 2008
Pete
11/4/19, 1:12 AM
Very sexy story with lots of reverse psychology along with boomarang spells running amuk. I was rock hard the whole time. More, please!