Recent Comments

Stream Charli XCX
9/13/19, 6:48 AM
Please continue! Maybe in the next chapter the mom and daughter come back and the dad leaves them to be with his master? I would also love to see some foot worship.
Super fag
9/13/19, 6:45 AM
woulda preferred if his super hero name became a stripper name for him. all and all pretty good tho
Anonymous
9/13/19, 6:27 AM
great! awesome! Love where this is going. please don't stop
Anonymous
9/13/19, 5:30 AM
Nice one - woof Bill
M.
9/13/19, 4:31 AM
Thanks Heru Kane. I agreed with your points as well.
Anonymous
9/13/19, 4:15 AM
Loved it! Wish lord thaz will make cory a new pussy.
Anonymous
9/13/19, 4:12 AM
I love your fucked up mind!
Willie Cici
9/13/19, 4:12 AM
Those who can, do. Those who can't, critique - anonymously, to boot. You did a good job with your story, the exposition and the plot line. Okay, so it could use a little polish. Spell and Grammar Check can't hurt. You'd be surprised how many errors it picks up. I used it routinely. Keep writing. If Hypnothrill mentors you, for sure, you will have a masterpiece on your hands.
Aug 19, 2018
The_Supernatural_D
9/13/19, 1:38 AM
Haven't read the second part yet, but just wanted to say that there's something about the way you use words that feels almost magical. Like you're weaving something out of silk.
Mdlftr
9/12/19, 10:52 PM
I too felt disgusted by Jersey's beating and humiliation. I also really disliked Guernsey's self-abasement and lack of self esteem when it came to the Bull. Since I believe that muscularly improving yourself should make you stronger in both your body and your own self esteem and personality, I'm disappointed to see the bully, aka "The Bull", prevail. His only redeeming characteristics seem to be his muscle growth powers and his overwhelming personality. The whole "I own you" theme was a major repudiation of self determination in this fantasy universe. Good writing, though!