Recent Comments

KKA
9/12/19, 5:52 PM
called "An Ass and His Asshole" i wrote it several years ago and i had been meaning to revisit it now that im a little bit better of a writer. Main premise, descended comes across enchanted statue, becomes embodiment of a Demi god. Would be cool to bring in Dionysius and Orpheus into the mix! Obviously, with your eyes on it, perhaps maybe shooting a few things onto the wall (pun intended) would be fun. Definitely looking to rework it in general, and it felt a little stale and I wanted a really satisfying ending. :]
martin
9/12/19, 5:52 PM
hypnothrill and staritman 1 can you both work together for sequel, hypnothrill can guide staritman1... that will be great
staritman 1
9/12/19, 5:34 PM
absman420 and hypnohrill, thank you for the encouraging words I am working on another story and will then come back and write a sequel to this one. I appreciate the positivity.
9/12/19, 5:28 PM
> Great story! Shitty writing. > Okay, harsh. In fact, the exposition was a little clunky, but -- as hypnothrill mentioned -- once the hypnosis got underway, it was pretty hot. I mean, I got a hard on. I'm left with questions at the end, yes, but I definitely want more. Keep it up -- the best way to learn to write is by writing. You're doing fine.
9/12/19, 4:36 PM
> i have a story with a REALLY REALLY similar plot line i posted here some time ago featuring Priapus > What is it? I would love to read it. Interestingly, I was researching a Priapus story -- although one VERY different than this -- when I stumbled across Pholus. The more I read about him -- and the astronomical and astrological variations -- the more distracted I became. As much as I'd like to get back to my original story, I'm ready to write about something else...
9/12/19, 3:33 PM
I don't think it's a bad story at all. The beginning is a little rough, and it could use a bit more build-up to the hypnosis scene. But the hypnosis scene itself is written quite well. I hope you write a sequel, because I want to know what happens next!
staritman 1
9/12/19, 3:29 PM
Please note it was my first story, I will work on getting better
Anonymous
9/12/19, 3:27 PM
Great story! Shitty writing. Please learn to write AND edit.
Sep 11, 2019
Anonymous
9/12/19, 12:02 PM
thanks man, I love your beginning