Recent Comments

zefrog3@Yahoo.com
8/13/19, 7:28 AM
i like the idea but it need more flesh on the bones.
Nice but too quick
8/13/19, 7:01 AM
Everything happens too quick. I wish to see more struggle, the slower changes in emotion etc.
8/13/19, 6:27 AM
Hi Wesley, I've been a fan of you and of your writing for a while now. Long enough that I know that this certainly isn't the first (or second... or third) of your stories to receive backlash here or on the NCMC. So I have three things to say: 1. You have an immense talent. Don't let anonymous commenters convince you otherwise. 2. You are terrifically brave. You aren't afraid to write gross or ugly or awful - and this loses you some fans, but it wins you others. The bleakness of your writing is very raw, very real, and very compelling. 3. You have written a masterpiece here. This story is a punch in the gut. It's a rejection of the birdcage that we find ourselves trapped in during our lives. It's a rejection of the world we live in today - and it's also a hope for a better tomorrow. I hope you and your husband are in a better place, and I hope you'll be able to find a happier ending for your story too. Best wishes.
Anonymous
8/13/19, 5:18 AM
Very very sexy
8/13/19, 3:36 AM
*<.<* *>.>* *whispers* Grakata.
nycboot
8/13/19, 2:48 AM
Yes, a thoughtful/sad ending, but that's what made it a really satisfying and thoughtful story. Thank you!
Anonymous
8/13/19, 2:47 AM
I agree. It was hot, but fast like a two-minute orgasm.
nycboot
8/13/19, 1:42 AM
I can be hyper-analytical and hyper-critical at times, so feel free to ignore my comment. Some people want to write a story that has, for example, x, y, and z in it. But a satisfying story can't imply have x, y and z without additional thought. See the Wikipedia article on **[Dramatic structure]**(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dramatic_structure). So say you want demonic possession. You can simply have a demon approach a subject and say "I'm going to take you over!" But who would even care? Thus you have to write in order to draw the reader in. Like you suggest, having the character act the opposite from the outcome can be dramatic - in this case, Simon is not at all interested in demons and Satanism. So then you have to build up the demon to also have some kind of character. But you've not even given him a name. I've read all the demon stories on this site, and none of them comes close to the supreme one, **[Bargain](https://www.gayspiralstories.com/newStory/show/1903)** by wishbone blue. The first chapter is really excellent - everything is set up, we discover the characters of both protagonists, and if it's your kind of fetish, you want to keep reading. (Unfortunately he never finished it; I've toyed with the idea of supplying my own ending.) So I encourage you to think about these things as you continue to write and improve your skills.
Anonymous
8/12/19, 10:56 PM
the ending made me feel kinda sad for him 😢
Anonymous
8/12/19, 10:44 PM
could you make him crossdress or act like his daughter?