Recent Comments

topaz172@aol.com
5/19/19, 12:09 AM
Anon guy... closest thing to a supervillian so far.. hmmm... Well 'Jill-Jak The Ripper' was in this last chapter. Next chapter you get Nunzio and Guido a pair of organised criminals. In a future chapter there is Coach Harris, who's a nasty one. and at the top of the food chain some of the other Queens of the High Fam will be a problem...Mistress-Queen for instance. I promise it won't all be lollipops and true love..but you'll get that as well. On the good side you get to meet Cockwood & Sons the Builders (out and Proud for 6 generations) particularly the sons Peter, Willy and Todger.
Anonymous
5/18/19, 11:52 PM
Really like this stories!! Somehow reminds me the hypno scenes in the movie " Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom" turned me on when I was a teen.
Anonymous
5/18/19, 11:41 PM
Cant wait to see the next chapter!! Since we have the superhero type now, will here be the supervillain type?
Anonymous
5/18/19, 11:19 PM
note to self don't read this in a pub waiting for people
Anonymous
5/18/19, 9:08 PM
Excellent
topaz172@aol.com
5/18/19, 7:22 PM
@Pup... I get it that having split them up you had to go with one... always a tough choice ... How I look at it, it would be narratively more important to 'show' the evolution from victim to super-zombie, particularly as super-zombies are also a new factor in the story.. I'd do that *'first'* as it heightens the threat to your second protagonist. Although not published yet, I have a chapter to my current story that follows a different character.. specifically so he gets a bad end and highlights a future threat to main characters.
5/18/19, 6:59 PM
at topaz, i definitely agree that his transformation is rather quick. It felt quick when i wrote it but i felt that it rich's transformation wasnt the main focus of this story so i let it slide. thank you for the constructive feedback. stuff like this allows me to improve as i work.
Anonymous
5/18/19, 3:49 PM
Awesome!!! Interesting follow-up to the original.
topaz172@aol.com
5/18/19, 1:12 PM
For me Rich's transition from toe licking to fully aware Zombie-master felt a little quick and would have been hot if expanded upon... suggest you write a flashback of him recalling that 'character growth' and possibly more about the nature of the contaminant. Hopefully you take this as constructive comment as you've constructed a compelling hot story.
Anonymous
5/18/19, 12:46 PM
Thank you for including a character who uses singular they. it's so rare in this genre.