Recent Comments

5/16/19, 9:23 AM
thank you for the suggests and support. these are definitely things im thinking of working with in the future. As far as the rushed feel is concerned it could be related to the fact that i dont want dustin and rich's story to drag on too long or raise more questions that im not prepared to answer. I am also a fan of the subtle so i try to convey certain details about the virus through the behavior of the characters for awhile before out right saying it.
Anonymous
5/16/19, 9:03 AM
@Hypnopupos, I would like to suggest a future chapter or two on this world from the parent's point of view too! Why are all the adults mysteriously missing? Are they not affected by the fog, or are they just more clever with satisfying their "hunger"? Definitely keep going with the story! Even though it looks like you may have stepped into some rather hot water with the 16 year old character, I did like the story and premise, and the "underage" character does not bother me at all. I would suggest flushing it out a bit more, adding a bit more detail and turning it into a full-fledged arc. Right now it feels a bit like a sketch, particularly with the large blocks of text. It does feel rushed, but I can see a lot of potential with this story :) keep up the good work, and don't let the naysayers hold you back! P.S. who says 18 is the all-mighty age of consent in countries outside the USA? This is the Internet, think outside the box for a second here folks. (Hint: a surprising amount of the world has the age of consent at 12... like Mexico. Surprisingly close to home for the USA folks, huh?)
Anonymous
5/16/19, 7:22 AM
I read this a lot, and I always Jack it to the idea of a hipster being fucked silly or being helpless and aware as he's used as a penetrative toy, then forced to clean the mess with his fancy hair and clothing... mmmm
TheD
5/16/19, 7:21 AM
I deleted my comment above because others have a point: the guidelines for stories are clear, and ages of consent have varied from time to time and from region to region. I have no right to wag a finger here, and I apologize for my strongly-worded admonishment.
Anonymous
5/16/19, 5:41 AM
Makes me wonder though, how will it be like if were in the Marvel universe. Using mind controlling symbiotes? using a mutant with strong telepathy? or maybe using the infinity gauntlet?
Anonymous
5/16/19, 3:41 AM
Great story!! Loved it!!!
Anonymous
5/16/19, 3:41 AM
Great story!! Loved it!!!!
Anonymous
5/16/19, 3:37 AM
My main issue with this is actually about having line breaks and checking for grammar. It is hard to read it in one large block of text.
Cigarjock18
5/16/19, 1:27 AM
I am 18, and I was sexually active when I was 16. . I was immature,and dumb. I was also horny as hell and knew what I wanted. I went after what I wanted I like the story. It has a lot of potential. Just seems rushed. Use the fog as a character. It's thick. It's hard to see through. Does it only affect teens? Or are all males affected? Am also glad to see that the zombies are not running zombies. That just doesn't make sense. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more
5/16/19, 12:28 AM
as far as the talk of making a story in this universe i definitely will be doing that once this arc is over. i really like setting up worlds to be played in and then just focusing on individuals experiencing the world.