Recent Comments

4/11/19, 8:46 PM
I really like the bait-and-switch angle to the story. This has alot of potential.
Apr 11, 2019
4/11/19, 8:27 PM
Agreed, it's a fine start, anf worth pursuing. A couple of suggestions: try to invoke as many senses as you can in descriptions, and, if you're going to use a first person narrative, take your time before revealing that the protagonist is actually the antagonist. Aside from the above, it's fun stuff.
4/11/19, 8:17 PM
I beieve that "adorable" might be an appropriate adjective, here. The story was sweet, and I wholeheartedly agree that adding the lifestyle to the wish effect was a nice touch; it could be loads of fun to see Nathan actually engaging in his new life, with Amir hanging around just for the heck of it, like an episodic series(what OTHER kinds of trouble can they get into?) Nice work!
Apr 11, 2019
Anonymous
4/11/19, 6:29 PM
I like the story. It did feel a bit rushed to me. Take your time so we can savour the changes as they happen. Keep it up!
Anonymous
4/11/19, 5:30 PM
Really enjoyed this!
Kevin
4/11/19, 2:54 PM
good story
Kevin
4/11/19, 1:59 PM
good story
Anonymous
4/11/19, 1:47 PM
Please tell me there's a sequel
Hunter_C_Wolf@Hotmail.Com
4/11/19, 12:56 PM
Why am I picturing an adult version of Aladdin here?
Apr 11, 2019
lloyd311@aol.com
4/11/19, 11:50 AM
Its good. I wish there was more of it, but its a nice little read. Keep posting : )