Recent Comments

2/3/19, 7:38 PM
100% agree with Hypnothrill. Other than the plot, the most important thing regarding a story are the characters. A good backstory provides character development. It allows the reader to know who the characters are, which in turn, allows the them to become invested in that character. Throughout the story, we should see a "character arc". Meaning, the character at the beginning of the story should not be the character at the end of the story. They should undergo some kind of mental, physical or behavioral transformation / realization. And the only way a reader is able to get this information is from (what Bboy) called "boring .. setup". I would also say, if a story isn't to the reader's liking, stop reading and find another. If you want straight up sex, go watch a porno. But there is nothing to criticize when it comes to character or plot development. Don't get me wrong, I have criticized stories. But when I do it, it's usually for grammatical or continuity errors. Or maybe when what the author is describing doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But in this case, Hypnothrill is obviously creating a slow build-up to the eventual climax. Think of it as a roller coaster slowly ascending the climb before you experience the thrilling drop-off.
Anonymous
2/3/19, 7:37 PM
I always ‘hate’ the first part of your stories because they feel like they’re teasing us. So much intrigue, so much build up, but that pay off always out of reach until the later chapters go up... That being said, I absolutely LOVE what you’re setting up in this one and I can’t wait to see where things go from here! I just hope we don’t have too long to wait, because it’s already excruciating. Lol
2/3/19, 6:48 PM
Excellent story. I love the lonely jock taking pity on the bullied nerd and jocking him up. A little sad that he didn't keep his smarts, but I absolutely love that you gave him a smooth hairless jock body!
Mdlftr
2/3/19, 5:42 PM
I agree with "Longtimefan" that you really have a talent for stories about a character's journey of self-discovery. Instead of mind control, it's, more like mind enlightenment! Great series from a terrific writer. I loved the humor!
Anonymous
2/3/19, 5:31 PM
So hooot... I love when younger dominates older with humiliation
Jan 30, 2019
Anonymous
2/3/19, 5:18 PM
Nice story man - loved the headphone idea and how it changed his perception of reality. Would have been awesome to see his clothing and hairstyle transform as well or him going out and getting new clothes and a haircut next..?
Anonymous
2/3/19, 5:16 PM
This is the nicest story in this site that I've read... Like wow... Maybe there really is hope for the people on this site. *Sees Re-post Freaky Fuck Show* Oh wait, never mind...
2/3/19, 5:13 PM
I'm going to take that as a backhanded compliment, Bboy. And to give a serious answer to your rhetorical questions: in real life, I greatly prefer foreplay over sexual intercourse, and my stories operate the same way. There is some sex, but a lot of it is about erotic anticipation and a sense of slowly rising tension. Plus, in this one, I tried to build in some extra character backstory that should pay off in the end.
Anonymous
2/3/19, 4:56 PM
is there going to be a continuation? would love to see the wedding!
Dec 29, 2018
Mdlftr
2/3/19, 4:53 PM
Sweet transformation story. Their exteriors changed, but they were still the same people inside. Very inspiring - muscle growth without dumbing down, or becoming a bully. Good job! Thank you for writing this! Loved the Spiderman homage kiss at the end.