Recent Comments

Mdlftr
2/3/19, 1:02 AM
Very clever! I loved the humor, such as Noah was slumped on the bench, seemingly as tired as if he had actually exerted himself. He had convinced the gym teacher at the beginning of the semester that he shouldn't be showering after class because he would just get sweated up on his way home and have to take another shower there. Therefore, by skipping the shower at school, he was economizing water and doing his part to save the planet. or This afternoon, though, he and Tyler were seated on the floor opposite one another, staring at the strange bottles they'd been given. Noah dared to open the cap just enough to smell its foul stench. "I'm telling you, they're shitting us. Literally," Noah insisted. "All the jocks probably got together and shit in a blender and now they're laughing their asses off at the idea that they convinced us to drink it. Those yellow bits are probably undigested corn." "And I'm telling you, I think the coach is giving the players special food to make them bigger and stronger." "Yeah, but it's probably steroids or HGH or something else that'll turn your balls into BBs."
Anonymous
2/3/19, 12:45 AM
I love it when authors combine smoking and hypnotism! This story is AWESOME.
Anonymous
2/3/19, 12:24 AM
This needs more than a little editing. No quotation marks, bad paragraphing and use (or lack) of capitals in particular. Also get your timing right. If the first guy in the club was fucked for two hours before a l slow milking, how could this be done to 7 in the same night/shift? The manager was not suspicious? I know this is fantasy but details are important.
Anonymous
2/3/19, 12:18 AM
Is this a prequel/sequel to Hair Spread? Because this is awesome! I definitely want to read more.
corinthian
2/2/19, 9:56 PM
Great stuff - thanks!! Hope there is more to come.
rik
2/2/19, 9:25 PM
Loving it- keep writing!
Anonymous
2/2/19, 7:31 PM
Author -- If you don't spend the time editing, then don't bother writing. You can't do one without the other. There is a great story and premised buried in the middle of a poorly crafted story, riddled with spelling and usage problems. I'm sure your word processing program has an spell and grammar check. Run it. It will be the best five minutes you spend on your writing.
Jan 30, 2019
Anonymous
2/2/19, 6:58 PM
Really liked the brainwashing aspects of this story as he automatically believes in his new reality!
2/2/19, 6:21 PM
I apologize for asking, but I was curious regarding one scene of the story. You used the word "consume". That Brett "consumed" the the men of the club. Did he actually eat them, in the sense that he became a cannibal? It was really hard for me to wrap my mind around that detail. In my head, I couldn't help but wonder if would be better to use the word absorb. If you've seen such movies as "The Thing", I can imagine tissue being absorbed. I just had a harder time accepting a Hannibal Lecter scenario. I just wondered if this was a grammatical mistake or maybe this is what the alien actually does to humans.
Anonymous
2/2/19, 4:11 PM
another hot chapter... thanks for sharing... look forward to reading many more of your works...