Recent Comments

Anonymous
12/30/18, 12:24 PM
dang CJ's becoming such a jerk I hope he learns a lesson or two
Anonymous
12/30/18, 12:21 PM
your writing could use some work but the story itself is hot!
12/30/18, 12:20 PM
This is really interesting I can't wait to see where this goes
Dec 29, 2018
Anonymous
12/30/18, 12:10 PM
cute story! love how the spider puns never disappear, even after their nickname change. they're still nerds, but now with muscles!
Anonymous
12/30/18, 11:01 AM
is that it?
ForgottenCradle
12/30/18, 10:30 AM
hmmm...I actually thought he got the doctor one his side a bit too early,but I am thrilled to see why the whole plan play out now. as always a magnificent chapter I love it
Dec 29, 2018
Anonymous
12/30/18, 10:02 AM
Excellent work
12/30/18, 8:47 AM
Yeah, this really is a terrific start. I hope you continue this story!
12/30/18, 8:29 AM
Please DON'T write a chapter from Peter's perspective. One major reason this series works so well--aside from your gifts with language and characterization--is that we get everything from the perspective of the unwitting victims, rather than Peter. And as written, Peter's such a super-genius that it would be boring to hear all about his diabolical plans in advance; there'd be almost no dramatic tension.
nycboot
12/30/18, 7:31 AM
Even if English is not your first language, you have an usual talent in expressing yourself. The sequences with Pat are absolutely surrealistic! You write as if there is no time, there is just existence, waiting for the next stimulant. Pat increasingly is disconnected from his memories and exists only in the present and only to serve. Many stories have such an idea, but you convey it with such a strong mood. It's really wonderful. I hope you continue the story!!